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Day Four in the Celebrity Big Brother House

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Take a shot, let's get drunk and hit the dance floor. Sorry, you caught me mid flow of the K Mart Barbie twin's Hollywood anthem, and did you see Andrew Stone grinding upon that kitchen work surface praying it was a woman who actually believes he is straight?

Michael Madsen was right, who cares which twin is which? All I know is both have surgically enhanced behinds which surely should have been used to crack those eggs on during the body building task.

The house was awoken with Frankie's anthem Let's Get Physical blearing into the bedroom, and the Z-lebs were soon greeted by glamazon Jodie Marsh. I have to say that Jodie may have found her calling in life with the whole bodybuilding malarkey, after spats with Jordan, taking a short vacation to the Isle of Lesbos and even attempting to become a tattoo artist. You can tell she takes this seriously and I personally think she looks the nicest she has done in her career, well apart from the red barnet which surely only reminding Frankie of his Geordie Shore conquest, Holly Hagan.

The Z-lebs had to tan up and pose down for Ms Marsh, and while the male audience were shown images of jiggling butts and pert puppies, us poor females had to witness Andrew Stone hoist his legs behind his head and claim it "works wonders in the bedroom." Cheers mate; I now never want to have sexual intercourse ever again. I think that the producers at Channel 5 have actually buggered off on holiday, and the Nuts office have been allowed to edit down the show; this can be the only explanation of what is pretty much You Porn material being broadcast on a Sunday evening.

As king of the kick offs, Kirk hit the nail on the head by saying 'Big Brother has begun,' after the twins put him in his place for flapping those Jay Z size lips of his once too often. The bitching has definitely started, mainly because the twins do not fancy a fours up with Frankie and Kirky boy.

I'm a little on the fence about the twins, as I feel they aren't as stupid as they are letting on; but a huge high five to them for calling Frankie Justin Bieber. We can see why they made the link, as I am pretty sure that the Bieber also has been 'gigging recently and loves a good shag.'

I am slightly gutted that The Cocozza love machine has yet to receive a good service, but perhaps the bigger picture is to show Frankie that actually, he cannot have every girl going and that sometimes you do have to have a wash and brush your hair to get women to notice you.

Poor old Michael Madsen is fading into the background, as scenes of him sleeping while the others were enjoying the twins rap had me reaching for the duvet also. If only he knew Reservoir Dogs was being shown straight after he was seen posing in gold lycra shorts, maybe he would have stayed awake.

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