I have a confession to make; I failed to watch one episode of regular Big Brother. Now, as a blogger, and a BB one at that, this is surely a hangable offence, but the thought of watching fame-hungry people who you probably sit next to on the peasant wagon everyday filled me with despair; at least with the celebrity version you are witnessing those who have tasted fame in a last ditch attempt to salvage their 'careers.'
Speaking of flagging careers, this show is a huge money earner for botox face of the year, Mr Brian Dowling, who entered the not so crowded launch show in an explosion of topless dancers and sequins; probably stolen from Julian Clary's case. I remember the Davina days, when people were scrambling over each other to even get within 10 feet of the Big Brother house, now they are probably paid to attend as crowd fillers.
So who do we have in the house this time around? Well I made a 'cast' list prior to the show kicking off, which included a comedian, glamour girl, bitch, bad lad, arrogant guy and at least two people who you need to Google more than once. Well big ticks were made against all of the above, as camped crusader Julian Clary sauntered down the runway in spectacular fashion, sexter Rhian Sugden's boobs entered first, followed by her face 10 minutes later, stick bodied Janice Dickinson wannabe, Jasmine Lennard, teetered into the house shaking like a shitting dog, and underwear model Danica waltzed in like a wannabe princess who pays for nothing. Bad lad Ashley McKenzie was placed there to obviously keep the Olympic spirit alive; Mo Farrah was probably too busy running away from things (mainly the invite to enter the house) to even care, and the arrogant spot was filled by my favourite housemate, The Situation. For those who don't know about Mike, he is well known for flashing those abs and causing arguments in his Jersey Shore house, so I'm hoping he kicks off pretty soon and fight night part deux, avec le celeb can commence.
Other residents of Chez CBB include Julie Goodyear, who fell into a Primark sale rail and had a fight with every item of clothing, Cheryl Fergison aka Enders Hevva, So Solid's MC Harvey, who must be gutted the wrong Cheryl entered the house, Prince Lorenza who is a cheap rate Luke Wilson, Loose Woman Colleen Nolan, mega fan Martin Kemp and journalist Samantha Brick, who walked into the house like she had soiled herself.
Cheryl and Julie were the first two to enter the house, and were soon told by Big Bro to create a real life soap opera, by following the instructions given via earpieces. What followed were scenes of Cheryl telling fellow housemates that Julie had slept with her ex boyfriend when they were together, which ended in a fake argument and a drink being thrown. Now you may detect some boredom in my tone of writing, but it is more sadness, as I remember the days when the drama wrote itself and did not have to be directed like one big episode of The Truman Show.
Will I carry on watching? Yes. Am I just doing it for something to write about? No. As I feel Big Brother is the reality show that started all the ones we witness today, and also played a huge part in creating this instant fame culture that we all seem to adhere to these days; it's interesting that stars turn back to it in order to regain actual validated fame, well those who aren't famous for flashing the odd nip here and there anyways...
Personally I am angry that the garden has yet to be opened; I only tuned in to see Julian have sex with the jacuzzi.
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