What's in a name? Well a whole lot it seems when you are deciding whether or not to take your other half's surname when you get married!
I have heard so many opinions on this over the years, so today I wanted to ask you what you thought.
Personally, not taking my husbands surname was never an option for me. All I wanted to do all my life was get married, I couldn't wait to get rid of Kelly Lynch and become Mrs Kelly....
I have never had a good relationship with my father, my mum divorced him when I was 14 and there is definitely no love lost between us, so getting rid of the Lynch symbolised my last ties with him. In shedding the Lynch and becoming a Hood I became my own person. However, I know this is probably not a normal reaction to taking on a partner's name.
My sister in law on the other hand was really quite sad about losing the family name of Hood. She was pleased to become a Brewer but her family name meant so much more to her than my old one did to me.
No man should presume that you will instantly want to take his name, while others should not judge you if you decide that you want to.
I have heard so many view points on this. Some women feel it's ridiculous not to take the name, and wouldn't even give taking the man's name a second thought. While others feel it goes against everything they stand for as a woman.
Some family members will expect you to change your name, while your mother may feel upset that you no longer have the same name as her.
In my view there really is no right or wrong answer! It's your name and totally up to you what you choose to do, but it is something that you and your partner need to discuss between the two of you.
There are many reasons to want to take the name.
You may not like your old name
It makes you feel more married
It makes you feel more like a couple
It's easier when you have children
It's easier if you already have children
Reason not to take the name
You may not like his name
You may really like your own name
You may feel a loss of your own identity
Changing your name is a lengthy and expensive thing to do
You may be well known by your own name in your line of work and changing it may lose you customers
Other options to taking his name
Double barrel your name and his
Create a brand new surname combing yours and his surnames
Both take your name
Change your name legally, so it is easier for the children and for travel, but keep your maiden name for work etc.
If you do intend to change your name, make sure you order more than one marriage certificate, that way you can do more than one name change at a time. For example, when changing your passport or driving licence, you will be expected to send your marriage certificate off in the post, which means you won't be able to change any other documents until it returns.
I am finding it is becoming more common for women not to take the man's name these days. I am coming across more women and couples who have decided on alternative options. Is this showing a trend in women becoming more independent? Maybe, or maybe it's just a sign that there is more choice these days. We are also encouraged to think about our decisions more! And the implications they will have on the next generation.
Whatever you decide to do make sure it is your decision, just like planning a wedding, make sure you don't get bullied into something you don't want!
Personally, I love having the same name as my husband, it makes me feel like we are a stronger unit together, but I am also aware that not everyone feels like this!
So over to you. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Are you planning to change your name, or are you planning to keep it. Are you already married what did you decide to do? How did other people react to your decision? Feel free to add your thoughts to the discussion.
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