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Over 30 And Single? Are Your Standards Too High?

12/07/2017 12:01 BST | Updated 12/07/2017 16:30 BST

The film industry has messed with our relationship perceptions, would you agree? We are constantly expecting to have the perfect, fairy tale relationship - like Hollywood ruined real life relationships didn't it? We expect to have Chuck and Blair or Allie and Noah love story. But nothing is further from that truth.

We love to imagine that you will traditionally fall in love or that you'll randomly meet your perfect "other half" in the back of a limo. Sure enough, you will encounter your peak and low moments, but in essence you dream of finding that special soul mate you are supposed to be with, right? We should be able to find our soul mate and have our own fairy tale. Unfortunately, when we look around, even for celebrities, that's not how real life works because we simply do not exist in a movie/novel/episode, although I am pretty sure we would love that!

Often times you would hear men complain and vent that the women of today are too demanding and that everything revolves around them. We don't date certain guys because we're afraid they aren't our type, and their usual question following this statement is: but how do you know what your type is before you've even been on a real date? As a teenager I guess it was acceptable to make a list of the traits that your ideal guy should have, but now as an adult women, we must learn to be less judgmental and more objective...

Now let's fast-forward to college and post college grad, you still will hear most women talk about the lack of compatibility that is rampant within the men that pursue us. You will notice that somehow, we are capable of stereotyping or even of men "profiling" (although the same can be said about men).

What if we have a set of expectations that could be too high for real people to fulfil? What if we are setting our standards to those of unrealistic characters and end up missing out on all the fun and loving of a REAL relationship with someone, simply because we chose to label them before giving them a real chance? Someone that may actually surprise us with a profound sense of belonging and realness? You definitely will not know unless you give them a fair trial.

What if that tipsy man from that get together last weekend was "the one", and you totally blew him off just because you don't think that you can fall in love while under the influence? Maybe he has more confidence from that shot or two of whisky and, built up the courage to finally approach and talk to you and you totally missed the boat because in your mind that is not the way you are supposed to meet the man of your dreams.

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High standards are great and it is important as a woman to always know your worth and what you can bring to the table. I'm not saying you need to lower them in any way at all. I'm also not telling you to just go date the next guy that walks by you on the street. But what if you are just being too picky for the wrong reasons. There's a difference between not wanting a relationship that is harmful to you and not giving any relationship a chance because he's not what you consider "relationship material." As life evolves around you, the idea of what a real relationship is will change astronomically.

Here's the thing: you don't have to only date guys you think you are going to marry. Yes, sure every relationship can end up in being a marriage, but the reality is that you should leave room for disappointments. Stop looking for the guy you're going to marry and just start looking at that guy that makes you happy. Chances are he has more qualities you like and can relate to than the prince charming you have been waiting for.

Our cultural globalization right now gives us the privilege that we do not have to worry about the fact that you must be married in order to feel "complete". Stop forcing yourself to live in a box of perceptions and stereotypes, because in reality you do not have to... You might end up limiting yourself to real happiness without even realizing it.

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