The Ramblings Of A New Mum. The Things They Don't Tell You

25/08/2017 14:13 BST | Updated 25/08/2017 14:13 BST

How do you change when you become a parent?

The days of going out for a nice meal with the hubby are gone. These days I get excited when my husband comes home so I can have a cuppa on my own, use the bathroom by myself or even have a bath without a rubber duck or princess Elsa launched at me.

They don't warn you about your hair falling out. I don't know if that's because of the hormones or the stress of being a first time mum.

But it happened.

When you do go out your number one look is hair tied back and whatever clothes you can get on as quickly as possible. You try and escape in the window between you putting your child's shoes on for the fifth time and them taking them off again.

Get use to it.

I remember spending time in the mirror doing my hair and makeup. Now I'm lucky if I get a chance to do any of that with a toddler hanging off my leg.

'Mummy I want an apple bar!'

'Mummy I need the potty!'

Do you find they cannot say mummy and wait for a response? It's, 'Mummy mummy mummy' maybe 5-10 times in a row before you can even finish a sentence.

I enjoy listening to music, but to be honest my favourite sound now is silence. Just sitting still in silence when she is in bed is what I dream of. Some peace ruined by my husband talking about something that happened at work that day. I do care, but just shut up!

Awful I know.

The children's book with the elephants, Five Minutes Peace, is one of my favourites. Jill Murphy, I can relate.

We all have those days. But I remember the first time my daughter gave me a cuddle and said 'Mummy I love you.' I cried so much.

A memory I have of being in hospital.

There was so much pressure to breastfeed. You almost feel looked down upon if you don't. I couldn't breast feedbecause of the trauma and medication I was on and the morphine. I was medically advised not to.

I went into a store and brought some formula. I went to use my loyalty card and was told you can't collect points on formula. We are supposed to promote breastfeeding. Government legislation. I was angry. Some women don't have that choice, I felt like a failure, we certainly don't need reminding of it at the till and made to feel like outcasts.

So many opinions. When to put them into a bed? When to potty train?

When to start nursery? When to wean them? I remember standing in the shop staring at the shelf thinking, well what brand? I must of read every review on each product. Crazy I know. I stood there for 20 minutes. I'm sure the security guard has me on a watch list by now.

I realised that it's trial and error.

On one occasion I took my daughter to our GP as she was being sick and not drinking her milk. It had been nearly a whole day without fluids. She was 6 months old. He laughed at me and said it's just a tummy bug. My reply, If you have a manual on how to bring your child up, I'm all ears.

Mine must have been lost in the post!

I find it annoyingly embarrassing when you go for an appointment and they say what is your occupation? Uh, full time mum. Wow. The look you get when you say that. In some people's eyes a full time mum is someone who sits at home with a cuppa in their pj's and lets their child play all day.

Ahem, minus the pj part, occasionally of course.

I'm sorry there wasn't enough room in the box to put, maid, head chef, launderette, carer, daily organiser, nurse, personal shopper and merchandiser of Lego city.

It's hard work.

I took my daughter to a baby class, I remember all the mums turning round and looking at me. It's quite a daunting experience. You're tired and you worry if your child has a tantrum or if you have to listen to how their child can do the ABC front to back and you think am I doing this right?

What If I look like I can't cope? There's always the mum that looks like a super model and reminds you of that women off the TV. Super nanny. #Very jealous.

I made a great bunch of friends though. So as daunting as it was, having those friends make a huge difference. Someone who can relate to you turning up with sick, or worse, on your top.

It only gets easier, right?