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The Four Best Pick Up Lines

05/08/2014 10:28 BST | Updated 03/10/2014 10:59 BST

'Pick up lines' sounds terribly sleazy, but in reality the term 'pick up lines' is just a crass description for 'conversational openers' or 'ice breakers' which serve to help get a conversation going between two strangers.

Most of my clients ask me what the best 'pick up line' is, and in my experience it seems many men are on an endless quest to find that one magical line that will smoothly transport them from the awkward stranger walking the tight rope between shy and creepy to the confident man who always has a witty soundbite at hand, that manages to encapsulate the whole moment of the approach and the situation.

The truth is, there is no magic line that fits all occasions and caters to every type of woman, however, there are FOUR effective 'Opening structures' that can be used in any situation and allow enough space for a man to add his own character stamp to them.

1. The Situational Observation Opener

By far the safest one to use, and thus the most popular choice. By making an observation about what is happening around you, you will hopefully be able to extract a response of agreement or even an opinion from the woman you are talking to. This response will give you the opportunity to build up a conversation which (if done correctly) will rapidly move on to another subject.

Example:

"The DJ tonight's really playing some great tracks... what do you think?"

2. The Opinion Opener

By getting a 'female' opinion on something, you can gain a woman's full focus and input very quickly.

Example:

"I need a female opinion on something... my friends getting engaged to a stripper, should I tell him to forget about her?"

Although I don't encourage stock-in-trade opening lines, it can be helpful when your mind goes blank.

An opinion opener can also be based on the woman's style too.

Example:

"You seem like you're very fashion conscious, tell me what you think of this tie/aftershave/ shoes"

Everyone has opinions and most people love to share them, so this little gem has proven to be very effective

3. The Direct Opener

This involves some dutch courage, and if executed with water tight confidence, can produce some alarmingly effective results. By confidently telling a woman that you think she's beautiful or hot, or by giving her a detailed, non-sexual compliment, you are immediately conveying to her that not only do you have the confidence to tell her what you think, but you're also expressing that your intention is to at some point ask her out.

This strategy really can save a lot of time, but it needs to be delivered correctly in-order for it to maximise your chances of a positive response. This means you can't show any uncertainity or embarrassment during the delivery of the compliment, and rather than allowing the interaction to lead to an uncomfortable silence, you need to immediately introduce yourself in a confident manner as if the compliment was never even uttered. This is not because you're ashamed or embarrassed about what you said, but because it is imperative that you show her that you don't need her to give a compliment back to make you feel any more sure of the situation.

Be warned that timing and self-belie are important with this opener, and once you've given your compliment, there's no going back.

4. The Non-Verbal Opener

This involves plenty of 'eye to eye foreplay'. You need to make lots of eye contact and non-verbal gestures before introducing yourself. It can involve you sharing a non verbal moment with her when she's turned some drunk guy down, and you look over and give her that 'face palm' to yourself to let her know you feel her pain, which will probably make her smile, and take the sting out of the experience. Any opportunity where you can connect with her and share a secret moment by utilising just your eye contact, facial expressions and non-verbal gestures is a great way to convey your confidence and/or sense of humour before you've even said 'hello'.