Thatcher Drops Out Of Labour Leadership Race Over Fears She Is "Too Left-Wing"

Margaret Thatcher has withdrawn from the Labour leadership contest due to fears that she is too radically left-wing to lead the Labour Party.

Margaret Thatcher has withdrawn from the Labour leadership contest due to fears that she is too radically left-wing to lead the Labour Party.

Despite her previous experience as the leader of a major political party, and of successive majority governments, Margaret Thatcher has dropped out of the leadership contest after fearing that she is too socialist to be considered Leader of the Opposition.

A Thatcher government would see a return to free University education; an end to PFI in the NHS and prisons; and renationalised railways, Royal Mail and probation service.

Thatcher's government would shun austerity budgets, increasing public spending by an average of 1.1% each year. She also rejects a welfare cap, instead allowing benefit payments to increase with inflation.

Her policies for a 60% top rate of Income Tax for her first decade in office, and a Corporation Tax rate of 52% for the first five years, have been dismissed by Yvette Cooper as "unrealistic" and "an attack on the country's beloved wealth creators".

Andy Burnham was glad to see Thatcher drop out of the leadership race, commenting: "There is no chance that an incoming Labour leader would return to the socialist utopia of the Thatcher years. The next Leader Of The Opposition should be challenging the Tories by moving far more to the right than Thatcher would dare."

Liz Kendall denounced her opponent as "a hippie idealist". Kendall chided Thatcher saying: "She needs to put down her bong, turn off Rage Against The Machine, and start living in the real world".

The Iron Lady is now thought to instead be turning her attention to the Green Party leadership elections in 2016, citing her mass divestment from the British coal industry as evidence of her environmental credentials.

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