Kirsty Smith
Eeh Bah Mum is the parenting blog that’s not just for parents.

Looking at the funny side of family life so far I have asked Is My Son A Dick? (answer: Yes probably) and compared my toddler daughter to Margaret Thatcher and written about the Top 10 Things you will do as a parent that you will not like.

Before I had children I was a successful TV producer making comedy, magic and entertainment programmes, I owned a Mulberry handbag entirely free from rice cakes.

Fast forward to the birth of my second child when I was asked if I’d describe myself as a Stay At Home Mum or a Housewife? Now I am kept awake worrying that if I die in a freak accident I will be described in the news as a 40 year old housewife/ home maker and mother of two.

Which I suppose I am.

But I’m also lots of other things too: If I am dead please feel free to flesh out your obit with the following:

Eeh Bah Mum is a runner, a writer, a Morris Dancer, a magician’s assistant, an amazing Southeast Asian cook, not very good at baking, even worse at sewing, don’t get me started on knitting….

Eeh Bah Mum loves Jon Stewart, Vietnamese food, Marc Jacobs clothes, Midwinter pottery, my Acne Pistol boots, Vivienne Westwood (clothes and the lady), making pies, London, Yorkshire, my boobs, punching things (a recent discovery), Billy Liar, Agatha Christie, Amy Tan and the Bronte sisters.

I hate that Mr Eeh Bah (a southerner) makes better Yorkshire puddings than me and I think my children are wonderful but wish they could be wonderful in a quieter, tidier, less annoying fashion.

My blog won the Badass Blog Award for Best Mommy Blogger and has been the Mumsnet Blog Of The Day, a Tots100 Good Read and Netmums Blog Of The Week, twice. (Ooh get her.)

Entries by Kirsty Smith

Does 'Bitchy Middle-Class Mum' Exist?

(7) Comments | Posted 2 October 2013 | (01:00)

You know those mums?

Yeah those mums.

The ones that look down their noses at you and your snot covered offspring. The ones with a tribe of picture perfect children all wearing immaculate Breton tops and snacking on hummus and crudités.

The ones who can't help but brag about how...

Read Post

The Summer Holidays in a Nutshell

(0) Comments | Posted 16 August 2013 | (10:18)


And the living is ...twice as bloody hard as the rest of the year actually Mr Gershwin,

Oh, Daddy ain't rich and Mamma is not lookin' very good at all,

So hush little baby,

Don't you cry. Please stop whinging for one minute. No you're not having another ice...

Read Post

Six Ways Running is Exactly the Same as Looking After a Toddler

(0) Comments | Posted 24 July 2013 | (08:48)

1. If you're doing it right you will look like crap.

If you go for a run and come back with a healthy sheen and a big smile you need to turn your ass round and do it all again.

If have been looking after small children and your clothes...

Read Post

How to be Left the Fuck Alone by Small Children

(13) Comments | Posted 11 July 2013 | (11:11)

Are you one of those people who tuts loudly when small children ruin your peaceful coffee break?

Well I am (supposedly) in charge of those small children. And when you tut it just makes matters worse (for you, not me, my coffee break was already ruined).

Let's see if we...

Read Post

Seven Ways Festival Season Prepares You for Parenthood

(2) Comments | Posted 29 June 2013 | (01:00)

Going to festivals and staying up for three consecutive nights might on first glance not seem the best preparation for starting a family but there are definitely some benefits to be had from rolling around a field smelling of day old cider.

1. You are used to all your money...

Read Post

Protocol for Visiting a New Baby: A Guide for Her Majesty The Queen

(0) Comments | Posted 18 June 2013 | (15:55)

Normally as a guest, especially a royal guest you are the one afforded special treatment.

For example if I have guests popping round I may remove the plastic toys/ trip hazards from the stairs and floors and hoover the crust of rice cakes from the carpet in the living...

Read Post