The Well Meaning Person advised me to refrain from writing about myself. "You're not a celebrity. No one cares. You should write about the Fall of Tripoli. "Fall o' wha'", I grunted. The Well Meaning Person wasn't amused. "Fine. But you won't get any hits".
"Threatening to withhold physical violence will not get you anywhere", I retorted. The Well Meaning Person walked off muttering to itself.
The thing is, I'm not sure one ought to write about something one hasn't experienced first hand. I don't know anything about Tripoli. I just don't understand why we're suddenly obsessed with removing Gaddafi. After all, we've been happy to 'do business' with the man for decades. But you'd have to be imprudent to voice such an heretical view over the internet.
Knowing nothing about Gaddafi, I've decided to write about Rick Perry instead. I know even less about him; but it's more fun. Apparently, the man doesn't believe in climate change. That's a bit like saying you don't believe in Tracey Emin. Thinking they're a rather inconvenient load or rubbish ain't gonna make 'em disappear. Perhaps Perry ought to take the example of Cameron and invest in the Unavoidable.
Our David recently purchased an Emin. Something to do with light bulbs, I gather. Perry could also invest in a trip to Brussels to meet up real-time with climate change during its sojourn in the bright city of chocolate and bureaucrats. Indeed, he ought to have been here today, as we experienced the shortest day in the history of summer. I would have directed him to stand in the middle of the street at 10am precisely, when the sky went black, and massive hailstones pounded the asphalt.
One dense and seemingly boundless cloud hovered menacingly overhead in the darkest heavens I have ever borne witness to. I skipped downstairs to gauge my sister's take on the bogeyman in the sky. Like wild animals, we feed off each other's reactions to perceived danger. I immediately gathered it was safe to relax as she was busy recording the Last Day on Earth on her camera. I informed her that if God existed, Facebook was going straight to hell, but she persisted, disturbingly aloof from Considerations of a Higher Order. We pondered our options. I suggested group meditation, but she had showers to take, and trains to catch. "Do you think I'll be needing socks?" she asked. Thunder was ripping apart the skies that had greeted us into this world and my little sis' was thinking of socks.
I don't remember experiencing weather of this kind as a child. The Canadians that I met in Alberta last summer couldn't remember experiencing hailstones in July either. Whenever I am in the midst of extreme weather it always feels like nature is fighting back. But so far, the most severe expressions of her rebellion have been felt by the poor. I wonder if Perry would feel the same way if he had lived in New Orleans during hurricane Katrina. One thing is for certain though, had he been here today, he would have been responsible for clearing up the biblical deluge in our basement.
Who in their right mind would vote for this guy? Euh- the same geniuses who voted for Bush? Change is desperately needed if we are to avoid forever being governed by immoral hypocrites. Yet even I am a little reluctant to promote change for several reasons. First, I've heard free thinking can land you in jail these days, unless you're a coke addicted celebrity. Second, even if we rid ourselves of the greedy shepherds, where are we going to find decent replacements? Sheep need boundaries; sheep need rules. But what are the alternatives. The politically minded youth of today have about as many new ideas as you can fit into a small child's shoe box. And anarchy is not an option. Anarchy leads to genocide and crimes against humanity.
What was done to Bosnian women, and what is being done to women in the DRC is why we cannot allow anarchy to take over our streets. Even if by some miracle every one simultaneously discovered they had souls, and started believing in God, human beings would still tear each other to pieces over who He liked best, and whose definition of Paradise was most compelling.
Perry was right in saying that God was too wise to associate with any political party. In fact, very soon God may not want to have anything to do with human beings at all.