London is a fickle city and its relationships are too. With so many people coming and going, it's not exactly an environment for a stable love life and just when you get in the groove with someone and think you're making some headway, you'll find you've taken three steps backwards. How did that happen?
I've got the answer. It's this new breed of millennials that are roaming the streets of London; the Serial Daters. Standing on the right and swiping on the left. Big cities are their breeding ground. London is their home turf. From roof gardens to restaurants, riverside strolls to cocktail-making classes; they're everywhere. These guys [and gals] who hop from one to the next without any attachment are all too common here. Their distant cousin the Relationship-ist is slowing becoming extinct.
I've gotta say, it can be a disappointment for a girl looking for the real deal, but I don't claim to be the entirely innocent party here either. Like many others in this city, I've spent most of my time in London dating bachelors at a rate to rival Taylor Swift. To be fair, most never made it past the first date [let's just say I have exacting standards], but there's been quite the roll call none-the-less.
Let's see, there have been countless finance types and bankers [it is London after all], a creative director, a couple of marketing execs, a professor and even a surgeon. Most I found to be too arrogant, too overzealous [Lunging kisses? No thank you.] or simply too shy. But all of them had one thing in common. Ask them what they get up to after work during the week, whether they'll admit it sober or after two-too-many whisky cocktails, and the recurring answer is dating. Guaranteed.
When I look at things objectively, I think a large part of the problem with today's dating scene is the endless power struggle. There's always someone who's in control and someone who follows. If we look at things historically, men hold the power; yet like most things these days, times are changing. Girls like to play hard to get, so surely when you're being chased rather than doing the chasing, you're supposed to be in control. So now who holds the power?
The sad fact is, these Serial Daters do. With their short attention spans and high self-interest, what hope do we have of gaining their ardour? I'm sorry to say, but very little; hence why the serial dating movement seems to be growing. Because as the old adage goes, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right? So now we're all running round, trying not to be too interested in any one person at any one time, which only exacerbates the problem. So much for not playing games...
To anyone in a stable relationship right now, making it work in the big bad city, I say count yourselves lucky. Avoid a break-up at all costs, because I for one am exhausted. I don't have time for playing games and wining and dining with three new guys each week. I feel like dating's version of Goldilocks - I just want the one that's juuust right.
This post first appeared on Pearls of Style.