I was in Edinburgh recently at the film festival when the gay Pride celebrations were also taking place in the city... and I was shocked. Now, whilst I am a woman who is happily married to a man, I believe that love transcends gender (and the other social structures of society). It is, in my opinion, entirely possible for humans to fall in love with someone of either gender given the right conditions and the right circumstances, and should be treated as the norm. So why did my stroll past the Pride gathering make me feel so uncomfortable? Do Gay Pride events just enhance the stereotypes of same-sex couples rather than detract from them?
People in gay relationships are normal. They are, in the most part, unobtrusive and hard-working members of society. They are our police force, our doctors and nurses, our teachers and our solicitors. They are the people in my address book whose sexuality is not on evident display because it's just normal; and we in society should treat their relationships as normal. That is what gay rights campaigners are constantly saying they want after all. So why do they feel the need to put on the extravagant, glitter-fuelled, and seedy displays that are gay Pride celebrations?
Nearly everyone I saw at Edinburgh's Gay Pride (and the media coverage from other cities across the world such as Manchester last week), to me, do nothing but damage the image of gay couples. The emphasis was on sex rather than love; and had a flamboyant carnival atmosphere vastly different from the original pride parade in New York in 1969 which was firmly about politics and equality.
Gay pride parades in the current political climate, should be showing the fact that gay people fit perfectly into society, rather than showing them as fluorescent wig-wearing, skin-tight leather trouser-donning eccentric extroverts; who all love bondage gear and sailor suits. How can you really blame society for believing the typical gay stereotypes when the community itself, on their biggest platform, continue to confirm them and continue to portray themselves as being different from everyone else?
With the recent debates on the church legalising gay marriage in Scotland, people taking part in these street parties and parades have thrown away their chance to show the more ignorant members of our planet who they really are; and that's a real shame. The organising committees for next year need to hire a damn good PR firm.
Follow Laura Pearson-Smith on Twitter: www.twitter.com/pearsonlaurauk
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Well, good. It's not for you. It's for all the gay men that are too "flouncy" for most straight men to consider talking to, or for the lesbians who are "too butch" to fit in. It's about saying - this is who you are, that's OK, and for this one day, you get to be who you are as hard as you can, without hiding or sanding down your rough edges.
Gay rights isn't done. There's a lot of this poisonous attitude about - that it's OK to be accepting of gays, as long as they aren't *too* gay. That we should get over this phase of being camp, or butch, and just be like everyone else. It's infected the gay community as well - we're rejecting our own more stereotypical members, telling them to be more straight-acting. You've taught us well - now we're even telling ourselves to not stand out, to fit in, to be just like everyone else. Why, though? What does it accomplish?
My point is that if people want to be camp or butch or straight-acting or loud or quiet or nerdy or black or white - that's their prerogative. Mind your own damn business.
Its a festival, tongue in cheek, pardon the pun : )
Yes, I do the really stereotypical stuff, I dress up in homemade costumes, I do stuff that anyone not in the know would really wonder about, I act crazy. I do all the stuff you'd expect of a stereotypical Japanese comic book fan.
Does this reflect the way I act every day? Hell no. When we all get together at conventions we really let it all out, put some effort in to what we wear and do and have a great time doing it. I'm sure the same goes for gay pride.
Why is wearing a fluorescent wig at a celebration a bad thing? Who then should wear fluorescent wigs? When and where is it ok to wear them? Or should their manufacture be banned?
I have decided to check in with Laura Pearson-Smith before I ever do anything out of the ordinary to make sure it's the right thing to do. She seems to be the #1 expert on comportment and I do not wish to make any mistakes.
It's a goddamn parade. People like to be entertained! No one wants to watch a regularly dressed person walk down the street.
Some people like sex. Some people love flashy clothing. Some people enjoy having fun. These are freedoms to fight for as well. I am different from the mainstream in many more ways that who I choose to love. I also never claim to represent anyone other than myself.
There's a stereotype that straight, white people are intolerant bigots. Laura Pearson-Smith is reinforcing this stereotype.
Have you ever been threatened with violence because you held hands with your SO? Have you been spit on? Egged? Had beer bottles thrown at you? Actually had someone assault you for your orientation? It's not an agree to disagree kind of situation - because at the end of it you walk away a full citizen and we still remain lesser.
You're basically saying that if gays would just act straight then we would get the same rights. I don't care to fit in to your heteronormative world. People have asked why I dress like a "man." People think I dress like a man because I don't wear dresses and skirts. I don't dress like a man. I dress like me. It's the heteronormative society that says I dress like a man because I don't completely adhere to their idea of how a "woman" should appear.
"Heterosexuality isn't normal, it's just common."
Dorothy Parker
Dorothy Parker
And really...who wants to be common? ;-)
What we need is 'everyone' to start accepting 'people who are different.'
There's actually a lot of pressure within the gay community to become - well - basically heteronormative. "Just act like straight people, get married, etc - that way they won't keep killing us / restricting our rights / etc."
The problem is that this doesn't solve the fundamental problem - that people are dicks to each other if they're different. It's this "us vs. them" tribal-warfare nonsense that's the real enemy here - it's at the root of all struggles. Racism, sexism, classism, homophobia, and a whole bunch more stuff that I won't even get into here.
(Of course, if you listen to a small percentage of people - i.e. the white, middle class, typically male, typically christian - you'll hear a lot of noise about racism and sexism not existing anymore. These people - of course - are wrong, and could probably stand to get an introduction to the concept of privilege.)
And, pray tell, Ms. Pearson, what exactly is wrong with that?
Not every LGBT person wants to mold themselves into the heteronormative society created for them, 24/7. What do you care if someone wants to be flamboyant? What do you care if someone wants to be polyamorous? What do you care if someone doesn't give half a crap about adopting kids and buying a house and being straight-laced like the rest of heteronormative society?
Everyone is different, Ms. Pearson, even if you don't understand their motivation for being that way. Live and let live is a good policy to take on this front, don't you agree?
Feathers? Check!
Glitter? Check!
Florescent Wigs? Check!
Flamboyant Carnival Atmosphere? Check!
I want to know:
Why is a predominately heterosexual celebration called Mardi Gras, complete with it's hedonism and flamboyance New Orleans, Rio, etc., acceptable, but for gays, Pride Day it is projecting a bad image and offending the sensibilities of "normal people"?
Why is the predominately heterosexual celebration Burning Man, replete with hedonistic behavior & bizarre uninhibited exhibitionionism, but now attended by grandma, acceptible, but for gays, Pride Day celbrations are flamboyant and obtrusive?
Why are is it OK for predominately heterosexual "historical reinactment" organizations to dress up in a variety of civil war costumes, medieval feathers, shiny armor, leather breeches, kilts, wizard and witch drag, Roman centurian skirts and sandals, buckskin and granny dresses, complete with fake battles, queen and king coronations and jousting, but gays and lesbians are diminishing their political clout and respectibility by letting loose one day a year at Pride Celebrations?
GLTB folks have spent too many years repressed, jailed, killed, bullied, disowned, fired and beaten and hidden for years in ugly closets and we're NEVER going back.
Who cares if you are "uncomfortable and shocked" at our once a year celebration? My advise to you is to avert your eyes at the first sight or hint of fabulousness (or even the sparkle of glitter) coming at you from our direction. We are not here to make you feel better about us. Someone has a problem here, and it sure isn't us.
Challenging gay pride is similar to challenging black pride or any sort of pride people take in their differences. We are treated differently. We shouldn't be, but we are. It is completely appropriate for us to embrace our culture and celebrate our differences. Your attitude is buying into the completely ridiculous idea of colorblindness applied to all oppressed groups. Your privilege is showing.