My bladder is not what it once was.
I remember my days at uni fondly and I particularly remember me having a huge bladder. The not needing to wee until I'd had three pints of cider was definitely a bonus on nights out. One of my lovely friends had the smallest of bladders and you could guarantee that she'd been to the toilet roughly three times before I required my first trip. It was great if the venue had skanky toilets or if I was in the middle of a park with no loos; I knew I could hold it all in place.
Oh how things have changed.
I remember how when I found out that I needed to have a c-section, I thought one of the bonuses would be that by not having to push a baby out of my foo foo, my pelvic floor would remain in tact and therefore my bladder would be as strong as ever.
Of course, it's wrong! I still spent nine months carrying a baby. Said baby was still leaning against my pelvic floor, pushing all of his 7lbs against my lovely in tact area. He was still bashing against it regularly, kicking it and leaning his bum on it every day. Why did I think that this wouldn't have a huge effect?
My yoga teacher went on and on and on about how important pelvic floor exercises are. Did I pay attention? Of course not! I found that the whole exercise process of the pelvic area felt weird, made me do a little shudder and I didn't do them (except for in class where she could see whether we were doing them or not!).
Do I regret not doing them?
What is my bladder like now I hear you ask (or maybe not as the case may be but I shall tell you anyway).
It's pants! Utterly pants.
I can't hold my wee for toffee. I have to make sure that when I leave the house or the office, I have released every drop that's in there else the journey home will be stressful! God forbid should I get stuck on the tube. I remember being heavily pregnant on the tube when the train got stuck in a tunnel for 10 minute with me desperately needing a wee. I was genuinely considering whether it would have been acceptable for me to just wet myself because I was pregnant and that was enough of an excuse! Thankfully, it didn't come to that but you know what, it still happens now, and I'm not heavily pregnant. I'm not even a little bit pregnant. It is simply not ok for me to wet myself in public!
It happened just last week. Not wetting myself (I wouldn't actually admit that!), just needing to go! We were in the car on the way to Lakeside Shopping Centre with the other half and his mum. I knew that when we picked her up, I should have got out, nipped into the flat and relieved myself, but I also knew that the shopping centre was only 20 odd minutes away and I could just go when I got there. Only it wasn't 20 odd minutes away because we got stuck in traffic and it took us longer.
Suddenly, sat in a queue in the fast lane with nowhere to go, I was desperate! I was jiggling around and trying to get them to take my mind off it! I seriously contemplated coming off at the junction and running into the McDonald's, only the traffic down that route was just as bad and so I stayed where I was...jiggling.
It happened a couple of weeks before that too. Again, in the car, in traffic, I was left wondering if I was just going to pee my pants!
And then there's the coughs and sneezes.
Previously, with a full bladder, I'd have been able to just cross my legs and cough/sneeze and nothing would happen. Now? I still cross my legs, cough/sneeze and a little bit of pee might come out.
I mean jeez... I'm only 32 - surely I don't need Tena Ladies just yet?!
My other half just doesn't get it? I've tried to explain but it's just one of those things that I get to deal with the joy of, and he has to put up with me dashing round House of Fraser, following the signs to the toilets (which led me in a complete circle meaning I could have pee'd seconds earlier if their signage was done properly!), and then repeating an hour later in Debenhams when I've not even had anything to drink!
So come on ladies - I know I am not alone! Tell me your weak after pregnancy bladder stories... I know you've got them!
And men, are your other half's always dashing to the toilet since having the little one(s)?
This post was originally featured on the Mummascribbles blogSuggest a correction