How I met my, now, ex-husband.
Having been on my own with my son for about nine years I decided I'd give online dating a go. In those days, 2006, it wasn't like Tinder, find a match and head out the door. Some men were happy to exchange multiple emails, followed up by lengthy phone calls until I decided I had sorted the wheat from the chaff. Some men weren't, they thought I was wasting their valuable dating time, but that helped me pop them onto the 'wouldn't touch with a barge pole' pile.
I met my first date in a public place, in an area I felt happy there were enough people and escape routes should that become necessary. He turned up just putting out a fag, looking scruffier than his profile pic with earrings that there had been no mention of in our lengthy communications. Surprise surprise we dated for about three months. Never judge a book by its cover. I overlooked the fact he was in tens of thousands of pounds of debt (although that did strike him from the potential husband list) and that he had a tattoo of his daughter on his left breast. Most disconcerting. It was only when he stayed one weekend and couldn't leave as he had been struck down with a serious case of man flu that I finally gave him the elbow. This was the result of finding out that he couldn't go a few (extra) days without his weed!
The second fellow I had a few reservations about, but as I seemed to be hilariously funny in his eyes I couldn't resist an evening of being that person. I met him in the same place as the last chap ( I wonder if the bouncers of the pub thought I was a lady of the night). I couldn't have picked a busier environment to meet him as I'd forgotten it was a match day and Highbury was buzzing. I had an ace up my sleeve though, there was a pub that had a small garden/patio to the rear that no-one else seemed to know about.
We had just settled ourselves in the deserted garden when three chaps in football shirts piled in. To be honest they looked a little old to be wearing football shirts, but as I said don't judge a book by its cover (well, only in your head, never out loud). One of them was very drunk and they couldn't have sat any nearer if they tried. Needless to say they joined in the conversation with us and somehow discovered we were on a blind, internet, date ( I say 'somehow', that'll be me and my big mouth). So a jolly evening was had by all, some more than others.
I'm not sure, but I think when I stood up to leave is when it all went horribly wrong (ok, I am very sure).
- It is only when you stand up you realise you have been drinking like a football fan on a Saturday night
- It isn't terribly ladylike to down your date's leftover pint, even if you do try and suggest it's wasteful and you're helping the environment (How? I have no idea)
- If a man gives you his business card and says, "call me if it doesn't work out", when you're on a date with someone else; DO NOT take it, put it in your bag and laugh all the way to the next pub.
You guessed it, I am guilty of all of the above. When we got outside the pub I could tell my date was none too pleased about what had just happened. The clue was when he said, "do you want me to go back in and have a word?". I declined and hurried him along to the pub next to the tube station for one last drink (this is the point that if I went out more often I would know it was time to stop). We sat down before ordering drinks and I vaguely remember him almost right up in my face, I also vaguely remember that I may have been letting out a little spit when I was talking back to him. He went to the bar to get the drinks and that was the last I saw of him. I tried calling his mobile and it went straight to voicemail. The time eventually came when I realised he'd done a bunk. I went outside the pub and called the guy who'd given me his card to see if they were still about, he seemed nice, gentle and kind. He was on the train on his way home but we made a date for another time.
And that is how I met my (ex) husband.