THE BLOG

You Are Enough- Improving the Relationship You Have With Yourself

31/03/2015 14:12 BST | Updated 30/05/2015 10:59 BST

My great friend Diane Von Furstenberg once said "The most important relationship in your life is the relationship you have with yourself. Because no matter what happens, you will always be with yourself" and when you think about it -how right was she? Life as we know is a cycle, we are all living day to day, week to week and year to year. Everyone is on a journey, their own journey. Life often can get in the way of life, we are faced with daily challenges, some minor some major, but all play as part of the course. We are all striving to go the distance, to live a happy, healthy life.

We all have different ideals of what happiness is and what exactly we want from life but one thing is the same for us all, when we cut we bleed, we are all human. On Monday of this week, my lovely friend Claire buried her father after a two year illness, he was 64 years old. In the evening when I returned back from the funeral, I thought about my day in its entirety, the conversations I shared, the thoughts I had and my own relationship with my own father who attended the funeral with me.

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Life can be funny and sometimes not in a way that makes you laugh. My day started with a conversation from a woman that I not work with and hugely respect about the regular feelings of guilt from us all on Monday after an over indulgent weekend. Physical feelings of being fat and bloated are somewhat normal for 99% of the female population a million times a week (on a good week) and today was no different. But I want to change this in myself and for the women in my life- mainly based around the guilt factor and having that feeling that you look like sh*t! Why because you had one extra slice of bread or cake suddenly your value as a woman and your value of yourself is worthless. I know as well as the next woman this will be a lifelong battle to value yourself and to know your true worth, but I really feel if we can foster this belief system in yourself as a woman in all your varying forms, we would all be alot happier in ourselves

Removing this guilt for not being almost perfect all the time will be a work in progress for most of us as we journey through life but it is defiantly something we need to do. Women are constantly guilty for working too much, for not having a perfect body, for not being pretty, smart or funny enough, for not balancing home and work life, for not being able to be at home with their children and simultaneously climb the corporate ladder, for not having a 6 pack and looking slamming in a bikini two weeks after giving birth to twins- our lives now are all about guilt! But today I learnt a very valuable lesson as I listened to very carefully to the priest and the family talk about their memories of a man they loved so much, we need to leave the guilt of living up to societies ideal of what we should be at the door and live for every single person we love and for ourselves every single day of our lives.

Make your life count on a scale that you are comfortable with and one that gives you balance, ease and a sense of purpose each day. When the chips are down or things are not going exactly according to plan that's when you know you are truly living life, for I believe it is life's challenges and obstacles that make us see where we are and where and how we need to move forward.

If you don't step forward - you're always in the same place.

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