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Five Things That Aren't Worth the Fight in a Relationship

10/09/2014 17:26 BST | Updated 10/11/2014 10:59 GMT

I'm a big believer that fighting can be beneficial in a relationship. You can grow together, learn from one another and establish boundaries if you keep your arguments healthy and constructive. However, it's important to pick and choose your battles wisely as not all fights are created equal. Here are five things that just aren't worth a heated argument with your partner.

1. Social Media

It's no secret that use of social media like Twitter and Facebook can have a negative impact on your romantic relationships. Most commonly, social media ignites some form of jealousy, whether you notice that your boyfriend is "friends" with an ex or "liked" a photo of a beautiful woman you've never met before. It's a breeding ground for insecurity, and can be the catalyst for disaster...when in reality, it's not worth fighting over at all. If you're in a relationship with someone you trust, it's better to just accept that we live in this digital age where social media keeps us all connected, yep even to ex-girlfriends. Liking a photo or accepting a friend request might seem like it means something, when in reality there probably isn't anything behind it. Talk to your partner about how you feel comfortable using social media as a couple, and what your boundaries are, but don't go over their friend's list with a fine toothed comb, nagging about who each person of the opposite sex is. It's not worth it.

2. Someone Hitting On Your Significant Other

So you're out at a bar and sneak out to the bathroom but upon your return you see someone chatting up your boyfriend or girlfriend and immediately you get mad! How dare they? Well, actually, they didn't do anything, so calm down. Unless they are flirting back, giving out their digits or otherwise acting like they are single, the fact that someone thought your date was hot enough to hit on is a good thing, not a bad one. Laugh it off as a compliment and don't turn on your significant other for doing nothing more than dare to show up at a bar.

3. Something You Can't Change

I believe that the only healthy type of fighting should be constructive, so there is no point in going around in circles about something you can't change about your partner or about your relationship. For example, my husband is a laid back guy when it comes to making plans with friends or family. He'd rather not commit until the last minute, and I know this all too well because he acted like this when we were dating (this is another story). I've accepted that it is just his personality and now understand that it won't do me any good to make dinner plans for us with friends a month in advance and expect him to be over the moon thrilled. Instead, I've learned to work around his quirks as he has mine. If you can't change it, accept it, and find a way to make it work.

4. The Past

When an argument is done, mentally put it in a box, lock it up, throw the key out the window and set the box on fire. It is D-O-N-E. Bringing up old fights or holding onto grudges won't keep you moving in the right direction as a couple-forward! It's simply not fair to keep a list of things your partner has done that have bothered you in your back pocket when he or she thinks they have already been resolved. Which is to say that if something is not resolved in your heart or your mind, don't tell your significant other that it is. Talking an issue out once is way better than dancing around it ten times.

5. Minor Annoyances

Sometimes little things can feel so big! Maybe your husband left his laundry on the floor, or your wife drives too slow for your liking, or your date is fifteen minutes late to pick you up...annoying, right? Yes-but not necessarily worth coming to verbal blows over. We all have bad habits, and while dating someone doesn't mean that you need to absolutely adore each one of your significant other's questionable habits, it sure wouldn't hurt if you turned a blind eye from time to time. Nobody is perfect, so instead of focusing on the negatives that aren't a huge deal in the long run, switch your thoughts to a positive place! Sure, your husband leaves a trail of dirty clothes wherever he goes but he sure does know how to make you feel better when you're down, makes a mean cup of coffee for you every morning and puts up with your crazy family. See? Not so bad after all!