When it comes to matters of the heart I'm as misunderstood as that green faced witch in Wicked the Musical. Castigated as a contemptuous romance killer, I take a zero tolerance attitude on cheese.

Valentine's Day leaves me cold. Disneyland proposals make me greener than a night on snakebite black....

It's been 20 years since Baywatch actress Pamela Anderson put boob jobs on the map with her bouncing silicon coconuts. And despite recurrent health scares, botched surgery and the £5,000 price tag, the demand for Barbie doll chests continues to rise. Glamourised by the media and modelling industries, data from...

At the age of 14 I spent two month's allowance on a pair of pink shiny trousers and a wildly inappropriate crop top that made me look like Pretty Woman in a training bra. Fashioned from the two tone fabric that made Pilot a legendary shop of the 90s, I...

When I was 11 a boy in my class asked me out. We spent the summer of 1995 holding hands before exchanging Haribo jelly rings in the library as symbols of our everlasting devotion. Then high school happened and he immediately abandoned me in favour of a taller, prettier, less...

No matter how gargantuan a woman's backside becomes, when she asks for an opinion on its size, you always tell her it's small. If it's abundantly clear her body mass index is teetering towards the 'morbidly obese/death by coronary' line, you might throw in adjectives like 'curvy' or 'cuddly'. But...

In 1992 the lonely hearts section of the internet was dominated by the kind of socially inadequate wackadoodles that collect badger porn and stroke your bottom on public transport. Fast forward 20 years and these websites are fronted by attractive young professionals with long swishy hair and pearly white TV...