A comic I know was penciled for an advert and lost out to another man. That other man was his agent - just 'having a go'. You feel more comfortable when your agent is on the business side, you know, taking care of business - preferably your business.

But...

OK, so you want to make friends in the Edinburgh catchment area for one month only... follow these easy to use steps and you should be as popular as a horse in no time. That is a horse who keeps winning the races. And is also very popular....

OK, first of all - take a shower you dirty Bertie. Might as well start from basics. Fresh start - just like uncle-Daddy said. Now, have a break - you've done really well to get this far.

OK - you're probably dry now. If not, towel down in the...