Whilst the media jumps all over the statistics from the recent Netmums survey that suggests feminism is deemed 'too old fashioned' because only nine per cent of 25 to 29 year olds identify with the movement, not a lot has been made of the 70 per cent who feel that too much is expected of women today to be 'red hot lovers, domestic goddesses, climb the career ladder and look like supermodels.'

The whole thing is riddled with contradiction and confusion.

These women supposedly complain about the stressful pressure to look like glamour models, and yet 78 per cent support breast enlargements, and only 52 per cent would back a ban on airbrushing?

Whilst I accept the views of my fellow women: they know their own minds and I am not about to invalidate or patronise their opinions, and anyway, I also agree that JK Rowling is a good role model for young women, but the bit about feeling the pressure to conform to the many varied and idealised notions of femininity, all at once, and yet supporting the systems that only serve to increase women's insecurities, is something I just don't get.

However, this survey doesn't tell me anything new. I see it happening every day.

As a woman, I too am lured by the advertisements that encourage me to dye my hair (to get those few springing greys) cover my face with BB cream (to look young and 'dewy') and strip my body of it's natural hair (to look very, very young).

The prickly part in all this is that by growing up in a society where these actions are the norm for women, it then becomes ingrained that doing this actually makes one feel better (largely because people won't stare at you) and so it soon becomes something that one wants to do - without ever thinking about why.

Now, let's take women's roles in life.

Clearly, biologically women's bodies have an obvious function: baby-making. Throughout history this baby-making facility of the female anatomy has become entwined with the nurturing of the whole family, and feminists (men and women) fought for a woman's right to have a career, if they so chose to have one.

Yet today women feel the need to constantly justify their decisions to either stay at home with a baby or hire a nanny and go back to work, because they need the reassurance that what they're doing is ok, and the truth is it's undecided.

What about plastic surgery. Yes, women have the right to want to 'improve' their looks, but if society wasn't constantly shouting that 'tighter', 'clearer' and 'smoother' were 'improvements', then would one feel the need to do it?

It's fair to say that the boundaries of personal choice and unconscious persuasion aren't clear, and it has to be recognised that the more something happens, then the more it is normalised, and the result is that we have a situation where if a woman doesn't have a fake tan, perfect white teeth, fake boobs, long hair and a smooth forehead then she is 'weird'!?!

Yes, I have heard somebody say that.

Anyway, I really hope it is just the start of this conversation, because I really like the sound of this new 'feMEnism' and its emphasis on individual choice, and it's ceratinly someting I want to learn more about.

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