Louisa Leontiades
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Louisa Leontiades runs Postmodern Woman. You might like it if youre looking to discover the real you. She's also a mother, analyst and a Super Mario Junkie.

Entries by Louisa Leontiades

'Help Me, I'm Having an Affair'

(0) Comments | Posted 7 April 2014 | (15:04)

Curiously when I tell people I'm in an open relationship and have two boyfriends, there's a fair few who will turn around and say.

Oh my God, I'm having an affair with a married man/woman. Thank God I can tell someone.

It happened again yesterday. There in my...

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Love When Cancer Calls

(0) Comments | Posted 5 March 2014 | (10:09)

On our second date he told me he had cancer. Three weeks later, it turned out to be a false alarm. But after that we lived on borrowed time.

Last week they called him back and this time it wasn't a false alarm. Once the tumour takes hold, it will...

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Coming Out for Sochi

(0) Comments | Posted 14 February 2014 | (09:31)

For a woman in an open relationship, I'm what they call vanilla. Hetero. Boring. Not really into fetish if it involves equipment (although...never say never). I don't go for orgies, BDSM, or even Shakti shaking. And no, my open relationship doesn't translate into 'threesomes'. But then I experienced...

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How Open Is Your Open Relationship?

(0) Comments | Posted 31 January 2014 | (05:14)

A door can be ajar. Just a tiny crack to let the light through. In polyamory you might call this a don't-ask-don't-tell policy.  Or it can be open enough to let a person in (but you know, it's a door...so it can probably be closed if it isn't the 'right'...

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How to Love Without Pain - the Transformed Relationship

(0) Comments | Posted 27 January 2014 | (14:52)

If you're in love you'll know, they said. And sure enough when I fell in love I knew. I couldn't and didn't want to be without him. I was 18. Two weeks of yearning, burning and when he left, the pain came. So intense I thought it might kill me.

...
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How Maternal Narcissism Grinds Self-Confidence into Dust

(2) Comments | Posted 21 January 2014 | (12:16)

It's taken me a long time to admit that there is something wrong with my adoptive mother and not with me. As the adoptee, it was I who bore the scar of the primal wound, and she - the martyr - who tried so hard...

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The Surrealism of Polyamory - Meeting the Other-In-Laws

(0) Comments | Posted 6 January 2014 | (14:36)

Meeting the Parents is a tough proposition.

"All right, now look, Focker. I'm a patient man. That's what 19 months in a Vietnamese prison camp will do to you. But I will be watching you, studying your every move. And if I find that you are trying to corrupt...
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Polyamory and Monogamy Mixing Under the Influence

(2) Comments | Posted 3 January 2014 | (08:45)

Monogamy, once the structure and safehold of my rule-based life now resembles the unhappy wasteland of Auschwitz. It is a place I once lived in, starved of freedom, healthy love and emotional growth. I clung to it as an better known devil and whilst I accept monogamy as a choice of...

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Love, Mindfulness and Zen in an Open Relationship

(1) Comments | Posted 17 December 2013 | (21:16)

My new boyfriend wants a family. Never say never, but it probably won't be with me. Because you see, I already have a beautiful family with my [equally beautiful] core partner of 6 years.

My new boyfriend and I knew this when we started dating 4 months ago. But life...

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Anarchy From Within - How Germans Practise Free Love

(0) Comments | Posted 9 December 2013 | (20:39)

Even if 'Unity, Justice and Freedom' is considered the unofficial national motto, that's not what springs to mind when foreigners think of Germany. You might think immediately of their incredible organization, their love of rules and beautifully shameless attitude to sex. You might also remember their extraordinary powers of thinking...

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Polyamory, This Season's Gay

(0) Comments | Posted 3 December 2013 | (13:10)

In the battle for the right to choose how to demonstrate your sexuality, polyamorists are the new 'convenient issue', the latest depraved people to pick on. We are the slippery slope. Because the mind loves polarities of definition. A polarity of definition is an unnatural polarity; it is an invention...

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Lack of Maternal Love - a Driver for Polyamory?

(2) Comments | Posted 20 November 2013 | (18:41)

In our monogamous world, falling in love with more than one person results often not in a dream come true, but rather a nightmare. That nightmare could involve


  1. Lying, cheating and betrayal;

  2. Telling your significant other, risk losing them and breaking up your family;

  3. The...

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What Does Non-Traditional Relationship Utopia Look Like?

(1) Comments | Posted 12 November 2013 | (14:20)

What if you could be openly welcomed with both your lovers at the local chemist... what if coming out as trans, queer or poly was simply one of many choices during adolescence... what if going to a dungeon to play kinky games on a Saturday night was as accepted as...

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Three Big Questions About Open Relationships

(11) Comments | Posted 5 November 2013 | (09:48)

My sister-in-law has a new boyfriend who doesn't want to meet her ex-husband. Not for a second. Not even to say hello, let alone a coffee.

He can't bear the thought of her having had sex with her ex- (which they obviously did at least twice because they have two...

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Why Jealousy Is a Wonderful Opportunity

(2) Comments | Posted 28 October 2013 | (01:20)

'I'm also polyamorous', said my friend. 'But only one way. I can see myself with many women, but I couldn't stand my wife being with many men. I'm just a jealous person.'

My friend has an IQ of 145. That means his rational mind functions better than 99% of the...

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What Will the Land of Liberty Make of Polyamory?

(2) Comments | Posted 21 October 2013 | (20:21)

All of a sudden, polyamory is everywhere.

Articles flood the internet, many of them opinion pieces written by people who (so far) identify as monogamous. One of the reasons this is happening is to keep the news cycle churning now that gay marriage seems to be approaching normalcy. The clue...

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My Problem With Monogamy - Comfort Instead of Happiness

(29) Comments | Posted 14 October 2013 | (09:57)

Everyone asks why. Why take the risk of having an open relationship when you have children? They perceive open as 'non-committed'. Why take the risk of being polyamorous when you are so happy together? They perceive polyamory as a selfish choice rather than a realistic choice supporting an inclination. Rather than argue those misconceptions,...

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The Exposed Wound - How Polyamory Healed Our Codependent Relationship

(1) Comments | Posted 9 October 2013 | (09:36)

My ex-husband got married this summer. To my boyfriend's ex-wife. Once we were a quad. Four people together living and loving together. And although we all agreed to stay together for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, that's not quite how it worked out. Shit happens. And our shit...

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Seven Things You Should Know About Open Relationships

(1) Comments | Posted 3 October 2013 | (09:11)

So you've thought about it, and you think you might want to try an open relationship.

An open relationship means more sex, right?

Well, maybe. But not before you've done a lot of talking. And reading. And researching. And then some more talking. Whilst polyamorous authors Franklin Veaux & Eve...

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A Day in the Life of an Open Relationship

(8) Comments | Posted 23 September 2013 | (14:31)

Yesterday I was in the middle of eating my scrambled eggs when he said

'I met a girl online last night. We chatted for around 40 minutes. She has great contacts, I'm thinking she might be interested in your book.'

'Ooh goody.' Then I clicked. 'Are you interested in sleeping...

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