Louisa Leontiades
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Louisa Leontiades runs Postmodern Woman. You might like it if youre looking to discover the real you. She's also a mother, analyst and a Super Mario Junkie.

Entries by Louisa Leontiades

Discovering Unexplained Lumps

(0) Comments | Posted 29 September 2014 | (08:27)

They say lump, you hear cancer.

Too many dodgy episodes of sitcoms run through your mind because on telly, cysts or benign nodules aren't dramatic enough. Conditions like hypothyroidism or goiter are too non-life threatening and too much like latin grammar to be mentioned (unless that telly program is 'House')....

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Five Life Lessons for My Children

(2) Comments | Posted 26 September 2014 | (00:00)

Recently an 11-year-old son of a friend was killed by his mentally ill father. An ex-colleague of mine was diagnosed with cancer last November and he died in January; there were Facebook statuses and then they stopped.

And now I have a tumour. You don't know of course, but perhaps...

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Why Couples Break Up Over Dirty Dishes

(0) Comments | Posted 22 September 2014 | (15:57)

When I walked in, the kitchen wasn't clean and I sighed inwardly. Before I'd got angry, now I was just apathetic. We'd agreed you see. I was in charge of the cooking and he was in charge of cleaning up afterwards. It was our attempt at gender equality. But he'd...

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Dating Inside the Drama Triangle

(0) Comments | Posted 17 September 2014 | (07:03)

He called me emotionally immature when we broke up. And at the time it was one of the worst insults you could hurl at me. Emotional immaturity was a 'belittling' criticism. Something to be ashamed of. I was an adult, wasn't I? Surely I was emotionally mature. But unlike physical...

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Why Are All the Men I Date Assholes?

(0) Comments | Posted 11 September 2014 | (11:19)

Once I dated someone who needed to vet the clothes I was wearing every time we went out because - as he told me - he wouldn't have anyone criticising his girlfriend but him. But we never went out anywhere decent because he might be seen with me. The same...

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When Your Boyfriend Loses His Lover

(0) Comments | Posted 6 September 2014 | (22:09)

I sit with him. His head is bowed and he looks tired and sad. If tears could leak out of his eyes they would. But my boyfriend has been trained not to cry although what he does when he's alone listening to his favourite love songs, even I'm not privy...

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Vagina Wars

(0) Comments | Posted 22 August 2014 | (07:03)

It was in March of this year when Jenny Block, celebrated author of Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage, wrote a counter argument in Huffington Post to my article titled My Vagina Smells Like Shame in Jezebel.

'If you...

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My Boyfriend's New Love

(0) Comments | Posted 19 August 2014 | (09:34)

In this world there are stunning women. Long luscious locks, superb pocket Venus bodies, smooth yet chiselled beauties. Like a Cosmo cover or a JLo in the flesh. These women live surrounded by money. They love and laugh in glitter. They go to the gym and take care of their...

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How Passive Communication Killed My Open Relationship

(0) Comments | Posted 6 August 2014 | (08:52)

Those Reddit 'British-problems' inspired articles get me a little bit nostalgic...

'I asked if someone wanted the last biscuit. Someone did.'

This was shocking... for the old me.

For non-Brits out there, asking if anyone wants the last biscuit, means that the person asking, wants it but isn't,...

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Why Women Stop Desiring Men

(0) Comments | Posted 22 July 2014 | (11:29)

I'm a fan of TED talks. Bite sized videos with the power of encapsulating a single idea in less than 10 minutes. Perfect for a Mum on the go and far more interesting than snatching a round of candy crush on the loo. But recently one of them made me...

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Open Relationships for Monogamous People

(0) Comments | Posted 28 June 2014 | (18:29)

There's a rumour going around, propagated by [some] polyamorists, that polyamory is a superior ideology to monogamy. Let's face it, 'limitless love' does sound wholly honorable and blissful, even if 'limitless sex' with multiple partners sounds ~ for most of our sex-negative society ~ quite the opposite.

Polyamory is not...

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'Help Me, I'm Having an Affair'

(0) Comments | Posted 7 April 2014 | (15:04)

Curiously when I tell people I'm in an open relationship and have two boyfriends, there's a fair few who will turn around and say.

Oh my God, I'm having an affair with a married man/woman. Thank God I can tell someone.

It happened again yesterday. There in my...

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Love When Cancer Calls

(0) Comments | Posted 5 March 2014 | (10:09)

On our second date he told me he had cancer. Three weeks later, it turned out to be a false alarm. But after that we lived on borrowed time.

Last week they called him back and this time it wasn't a false alarm. Once the tumour takes hold, it will...

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Coming Out for Sochi

(0) Comments | Posted 14 February 2014 | (09:31)

For a woman in an open relationship, I'm what they call vanilla. Hetero. Boring. Not really into fetish if it involves equipment (although...never say never). I don't go for orgies, BDSM, or even Shakti shaking. And no, my open relationship doesn't translate into 'threesomes'. But then I experienced...

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How Open Is Your Open Relationship?

(0) Comments | Posted 31 January 2014 | (05:14)

A door can be ajar. Just a tiny crack to let the light through. In polyamory you might call this a don't-ask-don't-tell policy.  Or it can be open enough to let a person in (but you know, it's a door...so it can probably be closed if it isn't the 'right'...

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How to Love Without Pain - the Transformed Relationship

(0) Comments | Posted 27 January 2014 | (14:52)

If you're in love you'll know, they said. And sure enough when I fell in love I knew. I couldn't and didn't want to be without him. I was 18. Two weeks of yearning, burning and when he left, the pain came. So intense I thought it might kill me.

...
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How Maternal Narcissism Grinds Self-Confidence into Dust

(2) Comments | Posted 21 January 2014 | (12:16)

It's taken me a long time to admit that there is something wrong with my adoptive mother and not with me. As the adoptee, it was I who bore the scar of the primal wound, and she - the martyr - who tried so hard...

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The Surrealism of Polyamory - Meeting the Other-In-Laws

(0) Comments | Posted 6 January 2014 | (14:36)

Meeting the Parents is a tough proposition.

"All right, now look, Focker. I'm a patient man. That's what 19 months in a Vietnamese prison camp will do to you. But I will be watching you, studying your every move. And if I find that you are trying to corrupt...
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Polyamory and Monogamy Mixing Under the Influence

(2) Comments | Posted 3 January 2014 | (08:45)

Monogamy, once the structure and safehold of my rule-based life now resembles the unhappy wasteland of Auschwitz. It is a place I once lived in, starved of freedom, healthy love and emotional growth. I clung to it as an better known devil and whilst I accept monogamy as a choice of...

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Love, Mindfulness and Zen in an Open Relationship

(1) Comments | Posted 17 December 2013 | (21:16)

My new boyfriend wants a family. Never say never, but it probably won't be with me. Because you see, I already have a beautiful family with my [equally beautiful] core partner of 6 years.

My new boyfriend and I knew this when we started dating 4 months ago. But life...

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