Louisa Leontiades
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Louisa lives in an open relationship with her partners and two children in Sweden. She writes full-time on her blog Postmodern Woman and is chairwoman of the National Polyamory Association. She also writes for Huffington Post, Salon, Nerve, Jezebel and the Guardian. She lives a life which makes for a lot of stories.

Entries by Louisa Leontiades

Five Hard Truths About Adoption Adoptive Parents don't want to Hear

(43) Comments | Posted 10 November 2014 | (08:51)

Adoptees. We're allegedly 16% of America's estimated 500 serial killers whilst we represent only 2-3% of the population1. We're also the heroes of pop culture from Harry Potter and Frodo Baggins, to Superman and Luke Skywalker. In real life we're Nelson Mandela, Steve Jobs, Bill Clinton,...

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Confessions of an Eyelash Puller

(0) Comments | Posted 3 November 2014 | (11:45)

As I stared at myself in the mirror, I thought

'You look like a pig. Pig-girl.'

My eye scrutinised the minutia of my face with a magnified mirror. Up close, it was quite obscene; pores, blemishes and eyelashes 5 times their normal size crawling over my...

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Why Mothers Should Be Selfish

(1) Comments | Posted 27 October 2014 | (09:31)

A newborn son just 12 days old, a two year old daughter and a full time business, it's not often that I get time to myself, nor would it appear rational that I sit down to write an unprompted and unnecessary article after a long night...

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I Thought That Shocking Headlines Didn't Change the World, Boy, Was I Wrong.

(0) Comments | Posted 22 October 2014 | (15:11)

Watch The First 54 Seconds. That's All I Ask. You'll Be Hooked After That, I Swear. ~ Upworthy, 4.6 million views (and counting)

It's official. We've discovered the way to make people click (and stay at least 54 seconds). It's called...

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Five Guilt Trips to Expect on Becoming a Mother

(0) Comments | Posted 16 October 2014 | (21:01)

You might already feel guilty just for getting pregnant if you're not married and you've been brought up by that type of family. Or for ditching your work without an adequate handover when you bugger off for maternity leave (because who cares when your pelvis is falling apart and you...

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You Look Like You're Coping But You're Not - Post Natal Anxiety

(0) Comments | Posted 13 October 2014 | (15:28)

"We promise we'll have her back within the hour." Said my mother in law.

My daughter was 6 weeks old. And my parents in law had come over from Sweden to see their son's first child and to give us some relief. But I couldn't let her out of my...

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What Giving Birth Is Really Like - Birth Trauma

(3) Comments | Posted 8 October 2014 | (01:00)

They say... 'Shitting a football' or 'Squeezing a watermelon through a bagel'...

But it wouldn't be surprising to me if those humorous descriptions were once formulated by men. They're about football and food respectively.

These words give no indication of the fear, trauma and humiliation that I went through...

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If Death Breaks the Glass

(0) Comments | Posted 2 October 2014 | (08:55)

Life has an order that we rarely see and almost never accept. We call it chaos and fight it with rules and restrictions; systems and management. But like water, life will find a way through our man-made blocks, whether it takes hours or centuries. If our systems are in opposition...

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Discovering Unexplained Lumps

(0) Comments | Posted 29 September 2014 | (09:27)

They say lump, you hear cancer.

Too many dodgy episodes of sitcoms run through your mind because on telly, cysts or benign nodules aren't dramatic enough. Conditions like hypothyroidism or goiter are too non-life threatening and too much like latin grammar to be mentioned (unless that telly program is 'House')....

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Five Life Lessons for My Children

(2) Comments | Posted 26 September 2014 | (01:00)

Recently an 11-year-old son of a friend was killed by his mentally ill father. An ex-colleague of mine was diagnosed with cancer last November and he died in January; there were Facebook statuses and then they stopped.

And now I have a tumour. You don't know of course, but perhaps...

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Why Couples Break Up Over Dirty Dishes

(0) Comments | Posted 22 September 2014 | (16:57)

When I walked in, the kitchen wasn't clean and I sighed inwardly. Before I'd got angry, now I was just apathetic. We'd agreed you see. I was in charge of the cooking and he was in charge of cleaning up afterwards. It was our attempt at gender equality. But he'd...

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Dating Inside the Drama Triangle

(0) Comments | Posted 17 September 2014 | (08:03)

He called me emotionally immature when we broke up. And at the time it was one of the worst insults you could hurl at me. Emotional immaturity was a 'belittling' criticism. Something to be ashamed of. I was an adult, wasn't I? Surely I was emotionally mature. But unlike physical...

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Why Are All the Men I Date Assholes?

(0) Comments | Posted 11 September 2014 | (12:19)

Once I dated someone who needed to vet the clothes I was wearing every time we went out because - as he told me - he wouldn't have anyone criticising his girlfriend but him. But we never went out anywhere decent because he might be seen with me. The same...

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When Your Boyfriend Loses His Lover

(0) Comments | Posted 6 September 2014 | (23:09)

I sit with him. His head is bowed and he looks tired and sad. If tears could leak out of his eyes they would. But my boyfriend has been trained not to cry although what he does when he's alone listening to his favourite love songs, even I'm not privy...

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Vagina Wars

(0) Comments | Posted 22 August 2014 | (08:03)

It was in March of this year when Jenny Block, celebrated author of Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage, wrote a counter argument in Huffington Post to my article titled My Vagina Smells Like Shame in Jezebel.

'If you...

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My Boyfriend's New Love

(0) Comments | Posted 19 August 2014 | (10:34)

In this world there are stunning women. Long luscious locks, superb pocket Venus bodies, smooth yet chiselled beauties. Like a Cosmo cover or a JLo in the flesh. These women live surrounded by money. They love and laugh in glitter. They go to the gym and take care of their...

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How Passive Communication Killed My Open Relationship

(0) Comments | Posted 6 August 2014 | (09:52)

Those Reddit 'British-problems' inspired articles get me a little bit nostalgic...

'I asked if someone wanted the last biscuit. Someone did.'

This was shocking... for the old me.

For non-Brits out there, asking if anyone wants the last biscuit, means that the person asking, wants it but isn't,...

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Why Women Stop Desiring Men

(0) Comments | Posted 22 July 2014 | (12:29)

I'm a fan of TED talks. Bite sized videos with the power of encapsulating a single idea in less than 10 minutes. Perfect for a Mum on the go and far more interesting than snatching a round of candy crush on the loo. But recently one of them made me...

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Open Relationships for Monogamous People

(0) Comments | Posted 28 June 2014 | (19:29)

There's a rumour going around, propagated by [some] polyamorists, that polyamory is a superior ideology to monogamy. Let's face it, 'limitless love' does sound wholly honorable and blissful, even if 'limitless sex' with multiple partners sounds ~ for most of our sex-negative society ~ quite the opposite.

Polyamory is not...

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'Help Me, I'm Having an Affair'

(0) Comments | Posted 7 April 2014 | (16:04)

Curiously when I tell people I'm in an open relationship and have two boyfriends, there's a fair few who will turn around and say.

Oh my God, I'm having an affair with a married man/woman. Thank God I can tell someone.

It happened again yesterday. There in my...

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