Louisa Leontiades
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Louisa Leontiades runs Postmodern Woman. You might like it if youre looking to discover the real you. She's also a mother, analyst and a Super Mario Junkie.

Entries by Louisa Leontiades

Why Are All the Men I Date Assholes?

(0) Comments | Posted 11 September 2014 | (11:19)

Once I dated someone who needed to vet the clothes I was wearing every time we went out because - as he told me - he wouldn't have anyone criticising his girlfriend but him. But we never went out anywhere decent because he might be seen with me. The same...

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When Your Boyfriend Loses His Lover

(0) Comments | Posted 6 September 2014 | (22:09)

I sit with him. His head is bowed and he looks tired and sad. If tears could leak out of his eyes they would. But my boyfriend has been trained not to cry although what he does when he's alone listening to his favourite love songs, even I'm not privy...

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Vagina Wars

(0) Comments | Posted 22 August 2014 | (07:03)

It was in March of this year when Jenny Block, celebrated author of Open: Love, Sex and Life in an Open Marriage, wrote a counter argument in Huffington Post to my article titled My Vagina Smells Like Shame in Jezebel.

'If you...

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My Boyfriend's New Love

(0) Comments | Posted 19 August 2014 | (09:34)

In this world there are stunning women. Long luscious locks, superb pocket Venus bodies, smooth yet chiselled beauties. Like a Cosmo cover or a JLo in the flesh. These women live surrounded by money. They love and laugh in glitter. They go to the gym and take care of their...

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How Passive Communication Killed My Open Relationship

(0) Comments | Posted 6 August 2014 | (08:52)

Those Reddit 'British-problems' inspired articles get me a little bit nostalgic...

'I asked if someone wanted the last biscuit. Someone did.'

This was shocking... for the old me.

For non-Brits out there, asking if anyone wants the last biscuit, means that the person asking, wants it but isn't,...

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Why Women Stop Desiring Men

(0) Comments | Posted 22 July 2014 | (11:29)

I'm a fan of TED talks. Bite sized videos with the power of encapsulating a single idea in less than 10 minutes. Perfect for a Mum on the go and far more interesting than snatching a round of candy crush on the loo. But recently one of them made me...

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Open Relationships for Monogamous People

(0) Comments | Posted 28 June 2014 | (18:29)

There's a rumour going around, propagated by [some] polyamorists, that polyamory is a superior ideology to monogamy. Let's face it, 'limitless love' does sound wholly honorable and blissful, even if 'limitless sex' with multiple partners sounds ~ for most of our sex-negative society ~ quite the opposite.

Polyamory is not...

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'Help Me, I'm Having an Affair'

(0) Comments | Posted 7 April 2014 | (15:04)

Curiously when I tell people I'm in an open relationship and have two boyfriends, there's a fair few who will turn around and say.

Oh my God, I'm having an affair with a married man/woman. Thank God I can tell someone.

It happened again yesterday. There in my...

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Love When Cancer Calls

(0) Comments | Posted 5 March 2014 | (10:09)

On our second date he told me he had cancer. Three weeks later, it turned out to be a false alarm. But after that we lived on borrowed time.

Last week they called him back and this time it wasn't a false alarm. Once the tumour takes hold, it will...

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Coming Out for Sochi

(0) Comments | Posted 14 February 2014 | (09:31)

For a woman in an open relationship, I'm what they call vanilla. Hetero. Boring. Not really into fetish if it involves equipment (although...never say never). I don't go for orgies, BDSM, or even Shakti shaking. And no, my open relationship doesn't translate into 'threesomes'. But then I experienced...

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How Open Is Your Open Relationship?

(0) Comments | Posted 31 January 2014 | (05:14)

A door can be ajar. Just a tiny crack to let the light through. In polyamory you might call this a don't-ask-don't-tell policy.  Or it can be open enough to let a person in (but you know, it's a door...so it can probably be closed if it isn't the 'right'...

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How to Love Without Pain - the Transformed Relationship

(0) Comments | Posted 27 January 2014 | (14:52)

If you're in love you'll know, they said. And sure enough when I fell in love I knew. I couldn't and didn't want to be without him. I was 18. Two weeks of yearning, burning and when he left, the pain came. So intense I thought it might kill me.

...
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How Maternal Narcissism Grinds Self-Confidence into Dust

(2) Comments | Posted 21 January 2014 | (12:16)

It's taken me a long time to admit that there is something wrong with my adoptive mother and not with me. As the adoptee, it was I who bore the scar of the primal wound, and she - the martyr - who tried so hard...

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The Surrealism of Polyamory - Meeting the Other-In-Laws

(0) Comments | Posted 6 January 2014 | (14:36)

Meeting the Parents is a tough proposition.

"All right, now look, Focker. I'm a patient man. That's what 19 months in a Vietnamese prison camp will do to you. But I will be watching you, studying your every move. And if I find that you are trying to corrupt...
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Polyamory and Monogamy Mixing Under the Influence

(2) Comments | Posted 3 January 2014 | (08:45)

Monogamy, once the structure and safehold of my rule-based life now resembles the unhappy wasteland of Auschwitz. It is a place I once lived in, starved of freedom, healthy love and emotional growth. I clung to it as an better known devil and whilst I accept monogamy as a choice of...

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Love, Mindfulness and Zen in an Open Relationship

(1) Comments | Posted 17 December 2013 | (21:16)

My new boyfriend wants a family. Never say never, but it probably won't be with me. Because you see, I already have a beautiful family with my [equally beautiful] core partner of 6 years.

My new boyfriend and I knew this when we started dating 4 months ago. But life...

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Anarchy From Within - How Germans Practise Free Love

(0) Comments | Posted 9 December 2013 | (20:39)

Even if 'Unity, Justice and Freedom' is considered the unofficial national motto, that's not what springs to mind when foreigners think of Germany. You might think immediately of their incredible organization, their love of rules and beautifully shameless attitude to sex. You might also remember their extraordinary powers of thinking...

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Polyamory, This Season's Gay

(0) Comments | Posted 3 December 2013 | (13:10)

In the battle for the right to choose how to demonstrate your sexuality, polyamorists are the new 'convenient issue', the latest depraved people to pick on. We are the slippery slope. Because the mind loves polarities of definition. A polarity of definition is an unnatural polarity; it is an invention...

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Lack of Maternal Love - a Driver for Polyamory?

(2) Comments | Posted 20 November 2013 | (18:41)

In our monogamous world, falling in love with more than one person results often not in a dream come true, but rather a nightmare. That nightmare could involve


  1. Lying, cheating and betrayal;

  2. Telling your significant other, risk losing them and breaking up your family;

  3. The...

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What Does Non-Traditional Relationship Utopia Look Like?

(1) Comments | Posted 12 November 2013 | (14:20)

What if you could be openly welcomed with both your lovers at the local chemist... what if coming out as trans, queer or poly was simply one of many choices during adolescence... what if going to a dungeon to play kinky games on a Saturday night was as accepted as...

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