So many of us have an unhealthy relationship with shopping. During the 15 years that I've worked in the retail and fashion industry I have seen a lot of these relationships at play; From the compulsive shoppers, to the serial returners, to the 'I haven't been shopping in a decade', to the 'nothing ever suits me; I'm a hopeless case'. A huge variety of women all struggling with their relationship with shopping. I believe we can all look and feel great in our clothes but we do have to get the shopping bit sussed so I challenge you to face your fear and start to recognise why you might be finding it so hard.
1. The Fear of Decision
What if you buy the wrong thing? What if this thing doesn't make you feel the way you need it to make you feel? What if you are wasting your money and you'll never wear it? What if there is something better out there? What if It's too expensive. Does it make me look frumpy? Do I look fat? Is it too young? Too old? Am I brave enough? Do I need to be bolder? You get the vibe...
Tip: Trust your instincts and follow them and if you got it wrong, that's fine, it's ok to make a mistake.
Personal Mantra: Ask yourself does it make me happy and do I love it?
2. The Fear of your Reflection
So many of us have a very challenging relationship with our bodies and with the arrival of movements like the Body Image movement we can clearly see that it effects the full spectrum of age. It is for many a really overwhelming moment when facing themselves in the fitting rooms and under those spot lights and not seeing the reflection that you want.
Tip: Be a friend to yourself. Be gentle, warm and leave the inner critique at the door.
Personal Mantra: I am beautiful now is my time to shine
3. The Fear of Recognising your worth
You keep everything super cheap and affordable and even if you see something that you love, that you know you would wear over and over again. You get tight and resistant when you consider spending that money on yourself. This is different to not being able to afford expensive clothes. This is the resistance to owning beautiful things that really make you shine.
Tip: You set the tone for the level you are living at.
Personal Mantra: I am worthy, I am beautiful, I love it
4. The Fear of facing Addiction
Have you constantly got consuming and shopping on your mind? Do you find that you can only get excited when you are surrounded by lots of shopping bags. Maybe you only feel really you when wearing brand new clothes, shoes, bags and belts.
Or perhaps you are a serial returner, you are addicted to that feeling of getting money back in your account and so therefore you never end up with what you need.
Tip: Awareness. Stop. How do you feel? Ask yourself why. Calm yourself by taking a deep breath. Now make the decision
Personal Mantra: I am the one in control
5. The Fear of Judgement
I often hear that people will not return to a shop as they felt judged when they last walked in. They felt a decision was made about whether or not they should be there by the assistant or owner that was serving them. It made them feel uncomfortable and very resistant to try anything on or take the time to look through the rails.
Tip: Go in with your head held high and a big beaming smile on your face, you set the tone. You can't control them but you can control you.
Personal Mantra: I belong wherever I choose to be and my money is as worthy as anyone else's.