I am standing on an unsteady conveyor belt, clutching 5 crystal glasses in one hand, the other is stretched out to catch a priceless bottle of red from smashing to the floor. On my back is one child, and on my front is the other.
I Juggle life.
I wobble.
I drop a glass.
I take my eye off of the falling bottle of wine.
My legs go from under me.
I am on my knees.
But my children are smiling. They haven't noticed the smashed glass, the priceless wine sprayed up the walls. They have barely noticed that we have toppled over and I am left clutching only them.
You see when a crisis occurs, your mind will hone in on two things: Protection and Survival. The rest turns to fog. Now, only puffs of smoke blow in and out of our mind and we are powerless to control them.
The ability to process thoughts has temporarily checked out.
***
The Juggle is Real.
This is what life really hinges on. A delicate balance- a juggle.
As parents we juggle on a daily basis, of course we do. This shouldn't come as a huge surprise. However, when one of those crystal glasses self combusts mid air you quickly realise it is time to take stock and re-evaluate.
Is it time to trim the fat on your life? What has passed you by because you were trying to do 75,000,000 things at once? Exactly what it is that you are juggling and why are you are bothering to keep certain things in play?
My marriage has passed me by...
In our quest to be the best parents we could be;
In our quest to have the best home we could make;
In the quest to be the best of friends to our circle;
In the quest to strive for success in our careers;
In the quest to tick all of life's boxes, we had forgotten our original quest that we set out on together, 5 years ago: Marriage.
The trouble is that we have glossed over the cornerstone of our lives and the pivotal point for everything we do, for months, maybe years now. We had been so busy putting our best into every other aspect of our lives we neglected to put the best into each other - ahem!
You see, it is easy to be oblivious to the warning signs when you are busy parents. You don't notice that your team is no longer a united front. You don't notice until you find yourself at a crisis point; A place from which you can barely come back from.
***
So, we have got radical- for the first time since we met 8 years ago, we are going to put us first.
Both as individuals and as a couple. That's not to say we are going to gift wrap the kids and Fedex them to Nanny's (nice thought...!). But more of a balance is what's desperately needed.
I can't remember the last time I really thought about what makes me tick. We were asked at the Lucky Things meet up last weekend to write our favourite song down on a piece of paper. I froze. I have no idea what my favourite song is. My initial thoughts were 'I don't have time to think about that'.
Seriously?
A life that is so hectic you can't even recall your favourite song , is pretty bloody sad actually. Our relationship has no chance!
The juggle is real, there is no doubt about that. But I am stream lining. I'm only juggling the essentials. Trimming the fat, simplifying if you will.
Because when a crisis happens, the world will continue to spin. The kids will continue to need you. Those close to you sift to the surface, and those that don't, sink a long way down.
Our marriage has been de-fibbed, and it's time to get selective.