Perfectionism is a killer. Vulnerabilities and imperfections are where life actually happens.
No matter how aware of that we might be, we often get into the trap of perfectionism when interacting with others.
What we think of people is based on our perception of them, unfortunately it may not always reflect the truth.
We think we know people, we may idealize them while we feel bad about ourselves. They may be successful, beautiful, wealthy, whatever - and we think that somehow they are better than us. When we connect with them, we don't show our own imperfections because we obviously assume they don't have any problems and will probably judge or reject us. They're so perfect at the end of the day...
How ridiculous is that. It's like we're having our head in the bubble which takes away the ability to see what's outside of it.
If, for one moment, we'd think that those ''perfect'' people may have imperfections too, we'd be much more open to actually experiencing what they're about. As the truth is, they are far from being perfect, we all are.
We all have our vulnerabilities yet we're so afraid to show them.
And yet, there is so much comfort, surrender and a genuine connection between people who show themselves fully. Yes, it's scary like hell. But one must dive into it to reach for something better, for authentic connection and realization that how we are and who we are is all ok.
So my recommendation is to look at the people around you and how you relate to them , and ask yourself - how real are those connections really?
What could I reveal about myself that could open them to sharing, too?
Because by showing ourselves fully with our vulnerabilities we give them encouragement to reveal their vulnerabilities and imperfections.
The moment two people show themselves fully is the sweetest thing ever, yes, it may be awkward at first, it may feel strange, but after accepting yourself and what you're sharing, you relax and you land in yourself deeper than before.
This is how we start releasing the armour we build up against the world, the artificial persona. We start to see the purpose of imperfections, they're there for balance. They're all needed, they make us who we are. Unique beings.
It's a world of polarities we live in so no matter how much we want a lovely weather and good hair, we will have days when the weather is crap and so is our hair.
And the sun as well as rain have the right to exist. None of them is either good or bad, they're both elements of nature and it's our emotional perception of them that labels and judges.
The same goes for our perfections and imperfections. What we judge as negative may not actually be bad, it's what we think of it. We add emotional charge and judgement to characteristics and features, and they are just what they are.
When you look at yourself this way, nothing really matters and you see that you are a rainbow, made of different colours. And each of them is just different, no one says that yellow is better than red, right?
Yes, I do prefer this version. It helps me to see myself as a whole, as unique and different than anyone else.
It also makes me excited about experiencing people, imagine what is possible when you create a space of truth between your loved ones.
The space that accepts, because even if you want to transform into a better version of yourself, you have to start by accepting these vulnerabilities first.
It is not to say that you have to share your deepest secrets with strangers, no. But choose and be consciously aware of your connections with people and what is possible if you add more authenticity to them.