THE BLOG

How Do You Know You Have Low Self-Esteem? And How Can You Change That?

08/05/2015 09:51 BST | Updated 07/05/2016 10:59 BST

Low self-esteem manifests itself in a variety of ways, and I should know I have been there. For me the following was very true:

• I didn't think I was good enough.

• I thought everyone else thought they were good enough.

• I didn't look after myself, I put others first.

• I let people manipulate me.

• I was in a bad relationship.

• I felt sad and thought there must be more to life than this.

• I constantly asked other people for their opinion, I didn't think I knew anything.

• I was verbally and emotionally abused and never felt I was worthy.

I started out with the intention of being happy when I got married at age 19, but soon discovered that the marriage was not working as I was constantly treated like an idiot, not allowed to develop as me, told I was worthless and became a possession. This situation went on for 10 years and my self-esteem nose-dived.

Getting out of that relationship led me to become a single parent, living in a small flat with three small children, no money, no job, no prospects and I felt there was no hope. My self-esteem went down even further.

Does anything resonate with you yet? Can you see the likenesses in your life at the moment? Well there is hope.

It took me a while, some years, but I found the answers to rebuilding my self-esteem and my life to such an extent that I run a successful business that I set up and I am a published author. I married again and have been very happily married for 31 years to a wonderful man who loves me. I have retrained as a life coach and work with people who have no self-esteem and help them to re-build it and I love every minute of it. I know how it feels, I know it hurts and that's why I can help so many people. I am still learning, life is a school and I attend every day.

So what can you do right now to begin to change your situation and start to re-build your self-esteem?

• Stop thinking that you are not good enough. You most definitely are.

• Begin to look after yourself, put yourself first. It is not selfish - it is essential.

• Before you think that you don't have the answer stop, really think about the question, the answer is there, you just have to find it deep down inside yourself.

• There is more to life than you have now, it is out there waiting for you. What is it that you want? Picture it in your head, write it down, look for it and you will attract it to you.

• Listen to your intuition. Really listen. It is telling you what is right for you.

By changing your attitude towards yourself other people will change their attitudes towards you, it will take time, but it will happen.

Begin today to change your life. You deserve to be happy and to be yourself. You deserve to have high self-esteem.