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This is a question that's currently being asked of me by clients and friends. In part, I believe it's symptomatic of the current economic climate. Change is afoot, both in society and culturally. We live in a different world than we lived in before the financial meltdowns occurred across the globe. Now we need to be more aware of the new ethos about being happier, expressing gratitude, and generally being less all about us minded. We live in a world of more confusion and uncertainty and in order to find our sense of self, we must unlearn habits, attitudes and actions that are no longer relevant. And we must now learn how to be truer to ourselves. Here is where reinvention can take place.
Perhaps you work in a business where things are done in a way that's currently inappropriate to your way of thinking. For example, the business says, "We put people first." However, in your personal experience this is not accurate, or even true; it's just talk, nothing more. You are not the kind of person who normally speaks out, that's not your style. However, now, you want to have your say. This means you will need to adopt a new attitude and to reinvent your Personal Brand. You do not wish to be a big mouth, in equal measure, you do not wish to remain tight-lipped about something that you feel passionately needs to change.
You will need to adjust your communication skills, learn how to be heard, not by raising your voice, but my raising your presence. This means adopting upbeat body language, enhancing the timbre of your voice and expressing passion, not emotion. Passion draws people in; emotion excludes them. Remember, you are not changing who you are; you are going to enhance aspects of yourself that work really well and edit anything that doesn't serve your purpose. I might add, it's important that any reinventing you do is authentic, it must convey the real you. It needs to be the parts of you of which you are most proud.
I coached a man who worked for a big corporation. He wasn't happy. His colleagues were extremely loud, egocentric and arrogant; he was the reverse. So when it came to extra perks, salary increases, and recognition, this guy wasn't in the running. In saying that, in these challenging times, business owners are beginning to realise that it's not how loud you are that makes you valuable to the business, it's how you behave, how able you are to engage and build rapport that matters. Also, it's becoming important that you are a fine standard bearer for the company and that your presence, both at work and otherwise is always upbeat, optimistic and enthusiastic.
My client managed to raise his profile considerably, and by doing so, he became far more effective. We worked on increasing his EQ, (Emotional Intelligence), which helped him to engage with greater ease and to be able to build rapport. We discussed the impression he makes on others, both in-person, by phone and via email. He learned how to make a greater impact by speaking with more confidence, which gave him more gravitas. By developing a Personal Brand that he felt proud of, he was able to raise his profile considerably. Also, his intention and purpose were now clear - to be more visible, so that he could feel better about himself and worry less. You don't need lots of money to reinvent yourself. You need desire, an ability to take action, be that by reading, attending seminars or workshops, or researching how you can make shifts that will reflect who you are at this stage in your life.
I think it's important to remember if we do what we've always done, we'll continue to get what we've always got. And if our history is such that we no longer want to continually repeat it in our life, reinvention is the key. To begin your journey to reinventing yourself, I suggest you consider how you want others to treat you and talk about you. In addition, consider what you are really good at, and focus on enhancing those skills. Also, when you discover what it is you are passionate about in life; use those passions to inform your actions. It's said that if we are fully aware of our passions, and can harness them, they will lead us to a path that will bring us more joy. I agree.
Follow Malcolm Levene on Twitter: www.twitter.com/malcolmlevene
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Equally, it's great to see you note emotional intelligence as contributing to a way forward. I believe this may also help us to understand part of the cause.
In the classic Ei model, the starting point is self regard, but this needs to balance with one's regard for others. This then supports the development of one's self awareness balanced with awareness of others (giving us the intrapersonal intelligences of self regard feeding into self awareness, and interpersonal intelligences of regard for others feeding into awareness of others). With these 4 elements in balance, our Ei (how we link what we think/feel/do to our behaviour) can perform well.
However, if you take these intra/interpersonal intelligences one step further, self awareness feeds into self management and awareness of others into relationship management, the key being that these, again, are in balance.
Achieving this is very challenging (trust me, I know!).
Importantly, though, if one is 'all about me' then one's self regard is too high when compared with one's regard for others, and so causes 'knock-on' imbalances throughout the rest of this Ei model particularly in the self/relationship management aspects.
So is it time to reinvent ourselves? Yes! Perhaps starting with remembering life isn't just about us!
You are so right, 'life isn't just about us.' In my opinion, if it were, we'd all be very lonely and less developed as human beings.
Once again, thanks for your important comments.
Part 2:
Sometimes the reinvention we need most is to take ourselves - our imperfect, yet perfect selves - out of an environment that isn't healthy for us, and create a void where we can flourish. I nearly got swallowed up in the competitive, backstabbing world of the 'fashion blogger community', and I didn't want to bail, after what I felt I had created. While I will continue, probably, to post, I will move it more to other interest that I'm passionate about - film, art, culture, food, architecture - and in the process, I've nearly completed my first novel. Proud as punch. Esteemable acts.
Thanks for creating some good food for thought on this Saturday morning. We're off now to see three films, culminating with the Ides of March tonight!
Yes, it's important to remove ourselves from people, environments and situations that are not good for us. And to do that when the feeling (in-tuition) takes us, not when it can be too late to remove ourselves. That you have nearly completed your first novel is wonderful. In addition, that you 'nearly got swallowed up' by the fashion blogger community', and decided to move on is commendable and courageous.
Enjoy the films!
I was talking with a group of friends, recently - intelligent, lovely women - about the idea of 'low self esteem' and how the solution, if you will, is to 'do esteemable acts.' (Apparently, esteemable is not a word).
In my case, I find that I'm the opposite of your example: I talk too much. And when I'm nervous socially, I tend to talk more. For me - and I practiced this last night, at a dinner party - simply leaning back, breathing, and focusing on listening, instead of worrying about how I was being perceived, whether I was being liked - transformed my experience of the night. I had a much better time: was fascinated in the conversations, but also, I had more of a sense of my own power.
I agree with all these other comments, including that we are always, in a sense, reinventing ourselves. And yet, like F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote, we're also - because of our individual, unique natures - in that endless ebb and flow of bouncing against the current, yet being drawn ceaselessly into the past.
Or as Simon & Garfunkel sang: Lord ain't it strange: after changes upon changes, we are more or less the same. After changes, we are more or less the same.
Change is unavoidable, we life in a dynamic world and it is increasingly becoming more dynamic. Everything around us changes, it is how we respond and prepare to these changes that will make our peers regard us to be a leader and/or expert. A positive approach and a working methods and structures that are designed to allow for variance in requirement and outcome, to meet the objective, are the once that succeed.
Being open to change allows you to perceive change not as a hindrance, with the right mindset it can inspire and drive the stakeholders and hopefully exceed expectations.
I agree, 'being open to change' helps us to see change as a positive in our life. That's because it's going to happen, whether we embrace it or not. So best to 'go with the flow' and enjoy the ride, because the more we enjoy the journey, the better the outcome will be.
I'm pleased you found the post 'empowering'. If it did that for you, I am very pleased. When we feel empowered, we can handle challenges with greater ease. In addition, we increase our emotional resilience.
I hope you enjoy your personal journey to greater empowerment.
Yes, 'passion' is key. And as you say, 'nailing' passions takes a while to do. However, continuing to discover what makes us tick, is a very worthy mission to be on.
As you say, we are 'reinventing ourselves' constantly. And to do so consciously, is a way to be in control of our Personal Brand, so it conveys who we are in an authentic manner.