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Less About Not Giving Up, More About Not Giving In

20/04/2017 11:52 | Updated 20 April 2017

One reads lots about never giving up on our dreams, etc. In all my years of coaching, those who manage to transcend challenges & not only survive but thrive, never give in to negative emotions. That's not to say that these people are in denial, ignore challenges, disappointments, etc. What they do tend to be is super-resilient, therefore able to disallow these feelings to be problematic. You might be thinking, how can I be more resilient? Well, first you need to focus on what is working in your life. Could be you've a happy home life, perhaps you are very healthy, you might even love your job. Really doesn't matter, what does matter is we acknowledge what is working. This simple exercise alone enables our brains to think more positively.

I know it's not easy, if it was everyone would be more resilient. Like most of life's toughest challenges, we need the 3 Ps - Patience. Persistence. Perseverance. With these 3 attributes, our lives become easier to manage. Therefore, stress takes less of a toll & we become more grateful. I'm not saying all of your challenges will suddenly disappear, I am saying you'll be able to manage them much better. It's no accident that the most successful are able to move on in a far swifter manner than most. Yes, they face challenges, fears & frustrations. However, they tend to not linger in the past, but live in the present.

I've met numerous individuals who, like most of us, face challenges, some of which seem almost overwhelmingly insurmountable. In saying that, because they have become far more emotionally stable, transcending those challenges is now much more possible. Not suggesting anyone can become emotionally resilient, am saying it depends how much you want to. We all have the wherewithal to be extremely successful in our chosen field. But remember, without making sacrifices the chances of making it become slimmer. I know, I know, you've probably made enough sacrifices already, get ready to make some more. This quote from Mitch Albom resonates with me: "Sometimes when you sacrifice something precious, you're not really losing it. You're just passing it on to someone else."

To conclude, in my opinion, the most successful solution to not giving up is not giving in to our emotions. Of course positive emotions are fine, however, they can bring about a change of state that falsifies our authentic feelings. That's to say, if we become overly enthusiastic about a project, we can be blind to the misgivings we'd have seen with a more rational eye. So the best way in order to feel emotionally steady is to manage your emotions. We do that by becoming more conscious. In fact, this is how we become more responsible for our behaviour and actions.

Some tips:

-Learn how to be more emotionally intelligent

-Focus on what's working well in your life

-Manage emotions, don't let them manage you

-Aim to acknowledge all of your feelings

-Know that to become more resilient takes discipline

-Be more conscious & less self conscious

-Don't allow negative emotions distract you from your goal(s)

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