THE BLOG

Life Isn't What We Make It, It's What It Makes of Us

26/02/2014 12:02 GMT | Updated 27/04/2014 10:59 BST

The saying, 'Life is what we make it' has some truth attached to it. However, I believe more accurately, life's about what it makes of us. Although, at times, my life has been what I've made it, at other times, it's been what life has made of me. Simply said, life is our greatest teacher, that is, if we are prepared to accept it as such. Think about what you have learned today, this week, this month or in the last 12 months. If you think you've not learned anything, you are either not paying attention, or your ego's getting in the way. This can happen when we are in the process of learning about ourselves, because our ego's too bull-headed and immature to allow us to believe we've anything new to learn.

By taking risks, being open to change, and allowing flexibility to be an integral part of my life, I've discovered secrets that have enabled positive changes. For instance, through being open, I have invited new and often inspiring individuals into my sphere. Also, I've been able to broaden my view of what I'm capable of. In saying that, over the years, I've often felt I have much more to offer than I have. Haven't you? By allowing life experiences, the good and the less-good to teach me, I'm able to be a better version of who I thought I was. Moreover, I continue to grow.

For instance, as a Coach, Public Speaker and Personal Branding Expert, I used to think I was only able to work with a certain type of person or with specific groups. Since I discovered that my scope is far wider than I had given it credit for, my world has expanded significantly. By meeting an eclectic group of people, connecting with individuals via Twitter, and attending numerous networking events, I've learnt so much about myself. One lesson that continues to reverberate, is to not look back. For many, looking back can become oddly self indulgent. That's because it can be like an addiction. And although we know any addiction, intellectually speaking, is bad for us, we're often not able to let go of it. We get used to having the adrenalin rush, or the physical high we feel. For some, being addicted to the past, can bring about fond memories, feelings of anxiousness, or pleasure.

However, letting go of the past is an effective remedy for repairing any discord we might have with the present. In addition, it heals past hurts. When we learn how to create a space within, where once anger, or regret lived, that space enables us to think more clearly, and to be more creative with our thoughts. This may sound a bit woolly, but I assure you, after many years of experience, research and significant self-questioning, I have found that letting go is a kind of cure for many ills, including those that are psychologically oriented. That's because by not letting go, we become stuck in old, no-longer useful patterns and behaviours. And like anything sticky, it takes much effort for us to become unstuck.

So make it your business this year, to let go of past hurts, stresses and anger. And perhaps forgive yourself. It becomes easier for us to forgive others, once we have forgiven ourselves. When you do let go, you will experience a relief that will encourage you to be more optimistic, enjoy higher levels of wellbeing and be happier. I wish you well in your endeavour to improve your life.