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Ode To O2: Blackout Poetry From Twitter

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Much like during the power cuts of my youth, when the candles came out and the board games were dusted off, the O2 blackout was a time to bring people together, to gather around the collective campfire - or laptops as they're now more commonly described - and make our own entertainment. So what better than to log into Twitter and have a poetry-off?

I made the call for people to write a funny, succinct piece of poetry or lyric about O2, using the hashtag #OdeToO2 and they didn't disappoint.

One very obvious rhyming couplet with 'O2' was instantly apparent to some:

@Jenii_Marie You've let me down, you've made me frown! I can't text, I'm much perplexed, sort it out or I will SHOUT! O2...you are very poo!

And...

@MikeTheRelic Roses are red / Violets are blue / I'm with O2 / The service is poo

...and the minimalist perfection of:

@SimonLipson: O2, oh poo (not my best).

Sometimes the humour cut straight to the heart of the matter:

@lemuria_rising: The mobile phone network O2, did brag of a service untrue...

And...

@OnewordTF: Ohhh 2. Oh why and how and who? Orange is definitely better than you!

@mand1960 offered the first extended verse over several tweets:

You lured me in with your honey trap
when all along you knew you were crap

I was with Orange no problems there
you waved a shiny new phone at me without a care

I had it a few months and it went for repair
you gave me a dinosaur Nokia which did not compare.

@MikeTheRelic then came back with:

I signed a contract to have a new phone
It arrived and it was shiny and new
I fired it up with ill-concealed haste
But the SIM card said: "No, I'm O2"

Five bars of signal made my heart leap
The phone status said '3G' too
But no phone calls or texts to light up my life
'Cos the SIM card said: "No, I'm O2"

Now the phone gathers dust and I lack
The will to try and continue
To speak with my colleagues, my family and friends
As the SIM card said: "No, I'm O2"

The competition was on. There was Shakespeare:

@andysbutt O2 be or not 2G that is the question.

Freeform... (i.e. doesn't rhyme):

@WallArtRockers O2 is shit and so is my poem!

Popular lyrics (imagine Mariah Carey, singing to her defunct cell phone)

@random_ali I can't ring if ringing is with O2, I can't ring, I can't ring any mo-ore!

But there has to be a winner. And it was the first reply I got, from @IamLucyWood, that amassed the most retweets for this street-smart tweet-bomb:

You're on O2, I feel bad for you son, you got 99 contacts but you can't text one..