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Seven Ways to Really Nail Your Next Job Interview

20/03/2016 18:32 GMT | Updated 19/03/2017 09:12 GMT

So, you've got that big interview next week. It's pretty important as you can't really handle another day working at your cousin's meat-packing factory. The smell really starts to seep in after a while.

But how do you stand out from the crowd and get the job rather than having your CV discarded amongst the others like tissues under a teenager's bed? Here are some top tips:

1. Never turn up on time. Either get there an hour before or an hour after; that way they'll either think you're super-conscientious or a busy and important person. You'll carry through that confidence to the rest of the interview.

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(Source: rishmadosani.tumblr.com)

2. Make sure you disagree with something the interviewer says. It shows you can think for yourself.

"Would you like a tea or coffee?"

"Shut your filthy mouth."

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3. Fart loudly and relentlessly. Employers love someone with a sense of humour.

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(source: perezhilton.tumblr.com)

4. If the interviewer asks whether you have questions for them, make sure to ask something that shows how deep you are like: "have you ever been in love?"

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5. Get your friend to ring you during the interview and pretend it's a massive job offer from a rival firm. "100K? Thanks for your offer but I've got consider all my options first.... Yes, yes I know being governor of the Bank of England is a good position, and thanks for the offer, but I'm currently in an interview for a similar position with PC World."

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(Source: argif.tumblr.com)

6. 90% of communication is non-verbal. Make sure you use those other senses to the fullest. Power stance at all times and be sure to give some of your answers through the medium of interpretive dance.

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(Source: www.cravetv.ca)

7. If all else fails, this technique will stand you in good stead: