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God Forgive Them

Posted: 04/04/2012 01:00

In 1992, when I was 17, two years before Attitude magazine was started, a vicar came to give a talk on sexual morality to our small Christian Union lunchtime club at my school in South London. I went along with my only gay friend - a chap in the year below me who had turned up at the dodgy local youth group run in a man's bedsit, a few months after me. We weren't out at school (we didn't want to have our heads kicked in), so we acted as if we were just interested in theological debate. At the end my friend asked what the Church would say to young people who were gay.

"We'd recommend they have counselling", was the reply. As we stormed out to the tuck shop, my friend dropped his disguise by yelping, "Can you believe that?! He said we should have counselling!"

Well, irony of ironies, that vicar was right. Both my friend and I have ended up having counselling in the years since - not to try to turn us straight as was suggested, but to deal with the aftermath of the horrific messages that we, and every LGBT person of our generation, were bombarded with as we grew up. You know, the usual: it's unnatural, immoral, evil, causes AIDS, would mean we would be lonely and could never have relationships, etc. All that nice stuff.

Years later, despite all the advances of the past 20 years, it is the Christian Church that still cannot give up its perverse obsession with gay sex. Scotland's Cardinal Keith O'Brien recently denounced the governments proposals to allow same-sex couples to marry as grotesque; last week the Archbishop of Canterbury described gay rights as a threat to society, and on Newsnight last month Coalition for Marriage spokesperson Sharon Jones suggested that birth rates dip in the countries that allow same-sex marriage. Its website claims we could see a threat to jobs, to the adoption of children, virtually to the future of all humanity. I wouldn't be surprised if they blame us for the price of petrol next week. Sounds crazy but Stephen Green of Christian Voice, a charming man whose ex-wife claims he beat her, also said last week that the infestation of mice that recently shut a branch of Tesco was because of its occasional support of gay causes. (Church mice, one gay website suggested). They do, if I may so, talk like crazy people.

I am an adult now and the Church's words bounce off me. I have no respect for them whatsoever. But I find myself more enraged than ever before about its irresponsibility in spouting the same old nonsense into the ears of young people growing up and realising through no choice of their own, that they may be gay, bisexual or transgender. It's not an easy time and what these kids need is understanding, love and support. Instead, they get condemnation of biblical proportions. And it does have an affect. It may sound brushoffable but you try growing up being told that you may be a threat to society. For many, the words do sink in. We know that adult gay people have higher rates of depression, suicide and anxiety - not all, but significantly higher numbers - and it is because of the damning cultural atmosphere whipped up by these leaders, who are truthfully leaders in nothing but hypocrisy, and in the Catholic Church's case, the massive global sexual abuse of children. Really, enough is enough. Of all the countless lives ruined, these repressed, sexually dysfunctional people should not be allowed to determine the course of anyone else's future. Even in this past week, we have seen reports of a Catholic priest in Northern Ireland accidentally projecting (gay) sex images into a classroom wall in front of kids from a parish memory stick, and news was reported that boys in the care of the Dutch Catholic Church in the 1950's were surgically castrated if they were suspected of being homosexual.

In our new, 18th birthday issue of Attitude we show the reality of our apparently Armageddon-inducing relationships - public servants such as soldiers, fire fighters, two 21-year-olds recently engaged and one couple in their late forties who have been together for more than 20 years. One was a trainee priest, the other played in the choir. Both of them were committed Church goers who were embraced by the local parish and community but ultimately driven away from the Church by its obsession with attacking gays. And it is not just driving away gay congregations. After O'Brien's letter of condemnation was read out in mass two weeks ago, I have heard of mothers of gay kids being reduced to tears and reasonable straight folk who refused to sign their petition getting into rows with their priests. The sad thing is that there are a huge amount of gay people who do have a faith and wish to play an active part. The Church has no idea how much damage it is doing to itself before an entirely new generation that is too young to remember the explicit hatred I and my generation lived through.

Like David Cameron's rebranding of the Conservative Party with 'the gay issue', the same is being done in reverse for the Church. It should be begging forgiveness from society because of the LGBT people whose lives it has diminished over the millennia. It should be doing all it can to nurture and help all young people into becoming the upstanding, caring citizens they can be, unfettered from sexual shame and dogma, and it should be taking pride in an inclusive, embracing attitude that celebrates all loving relationships, which are the fundamental essence of God. Instead in 2012, as the social fabric of this country is feeling more and more unstable, the Church has created a fierce battle over something that will not harm, hurt or even affect anyone except the couples who wish to marry. In doing so it has again shown itself as being run by sexually obsessive, hard hearted, fear mongers. I pray their God forgives them. A generation will not.

 

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15:49 on 22/05/2012
Standing up here as a Christian who believes that being gay is perfectly compatible with goodness, holiness and Christianity itself. The Bible condemns condemnation much more clearly than it ever condemned being gay (I don't think it condemns that at all).

For others who feel this way: http://www.thechristianleft.org/
23:59 on 21/05/2012
We are living in a time when it has become " trendy " to be anything unchristian. In the book of " Revelations " it says as the endtimes begin a false religion will spread like wildfire and it will be everything opposite to what it preaches.. the false religion is " Liberalism ". For all the people who say " I am Gay and a Christian " that is a contradiction, it is like saying " I am Black and a KKK member "... people are denying the meaning of words now !!!..
" perversion " :
to use something for what it was not invented for.
( Like to people of the same sex USING eachothers bodys to get sexual arousal )

to gain sexual arousal from something that is not considered normal.
( Seeing as sex has a purpose and that is to reproduce, any sexual arousal that is gained from something that will not lead to atleast a chance of reproduction is a perversion )

It is not homophobic to point these definitions out nor is it homophobic to say it is against my Christian belief to allow " gay marriage "...
Britain is a Christian nation and secularism has not taken over yet and I hope it never does.
00:52 on 09/05/2012
An excellent blog post Mr. Todd. As a gay man, all I can say to those gay people still hanging on in the Catholic Church (or any church with an anti-gay stance) Abandon the Church! It does not hold any answers for you, it is a sad, dieing institution that has always been wrong on so many issues, and you will feel such a release when you walk out those doors that last time. Leave the church, and go live your life!
17:17 on 13/04/2012
I am so thankful to be an Atheist and free of this ancient nonsense. Christians mean nothign to me but frightened and weak poeple or power hungry leaders.

Wake up world. The only god is you - if you are intelligent enough to let go of what has been the most harmful concepts of all time.
09:38 on 13/04/2012
I should warn Matthew Todd: in Italy, there is a website that uses your words to send messages of hate against homosexuals. This is the website of Christian fundamentalist organization: http://www.uccronline.it/2012/04/12/lomosessuale-matthew-todd-il-mondo-gay-e-un-inferno-di-infelicita/

Michele
Italy
06:13 on 13/04/2012
Ironically for you, Christians are the LGBT movement's best friends. Sure, maybe wiccans or some other religion are, in general, more supporting of gay marriage or whatever, but what influence do they have?
02:17 on 18/05/2012
Sorry, the secular humanist movement is the best friend
22:05 on 10/04/2012
Have a read/follow my blog for some weekly irreverent jibberish

http://hinchysweeklywaffle.blogspot.co.uk/
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16:56 on 05/04/2012
It's about time! The Christian Church--not just Catholic--has brutalized various peoples thru-out history. It has initiated wars (the Crusades", etc.) and purges (the Inquisition, etc.) against its imagined enemies. It has done little good in this world and a lot of harm, in my view. And it hasn't been very "Christ-like", either, which is the worst part. What ever happened to "Love thy neighbor"? That seems to have gotten lost in the politics of institutionalizing the church and organizing the masses.
05:33 on 06/04/2012
If you look to history, you will see that it is the Christian church that brought medicine, education and science to the people. The things you mentioned were done ,not by the church, but by people in charge and they did it because the mass did not read and had to accept the word of the priests. Things have changed since the masses have the ability to read and write and read the word of God for them selves, which modern pastors encouraged.
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02:28 on 18/05/2012
When was this that the Christians brought medicine, education and science to the people. Ever been to a Native American reservation even today in the USA? It was Islam that saved books in the Middle Ages, the monks burned most of the rest. Are we talking today where the Roman Church denies condoms to the masses to stop HIV, yet turns around uses it's hospitals to fundraise as its patients die of something that was preventable. How about the church Uganda promoting the human sacrifice to Jesus of gay people, When - were has this medicine, education-about the new relics of left over tissue samples of the last Pope that recently toured Mexico and science-I sure don't know where you got the church support science.
05:10 on 11/05/2012
The Crusades and the Inquisition had to do with the Catholic denomination, not the Christian church as a whole.
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Mneme
The truth shall make ye fret.
13:32 on 05/04/2012
Whilst I respect the rights of anyone to hold whatever views they want on homosexuality, I don't understand why the RCC and some other Christian groups feel that their subjective moral code should be applied to the wider society over an issue which the government has made clear will not affect their freedom of religion. If a person believes that homosexual marriage is immoral then they should personally abstain from marrying someone of the same gender, but that belief should have no further influence. Assuming that you have the right to interfere with other people's lives and choices simply because you don't like what they're doing is incredibly arrogant.
19:23 on 08/05/2012
The common law should not become a tangled nest of least common denominator principals that have no notion of absolute right or wrong. What you seem to embrace is a principal of moral relativism - anything goes as long as it does not impact others. That's the problem - EVERYTHING one does impacts to greater or lessor degree EVERYONE else - either lowering or advancing societal standards and quality (not to mention spiritual and moral impact). Your very notion of "what should be" (justice) and fairness is based on a moral principal - generally the golden rule. But when there is no unifying moral standard then there is no basis for rule of any kind. Tell an anarchist to listen to reason and he will tell you to go to blazes since its his right to lawless. Where do you want to draw the line? Murder? Child abuse? The liberal minded insist on tolerating everything but orthodoxy. There is no principal of reason to be found in arbitrary moral standards. Societies simply will disintegrate without a common shared set of values, visions and ideals. To those who say "there are no absolute rights or wrongs" will of course overlook their own contradiction in making that absolute statement...
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Mneme
The truth shall make ye fret.
20:27 on 08/05/2012
You seem to be operating under the assumption that morality represents universal and unalienable truth, an idea which is clearly false as evidenced by the existence of myriad varying and often contradictory moral codes. If morality is entirely subjective, on what basis do we adhere to one set of moral guidelines over another? Majority rule? That's another word for tyranny.

Morality itself is not synonymous with ethics and is more a reflection of personal or societal attitudes towards a subject than reality. All that is required for homosexuality or indeed anything to be viewed as immoral is that it illicit a negative reaction. However homosexuality cannot be described as unethical because there is no factual basis to describe it as inherently harmful to oneself and others. So while yes homosexuality may offend people by contravening their personal perception of morality, in reality that is the only effect it will have.

Considering that gay marriage has been legal in several devoutly Christian countries for a number of years that have not 'disintegrated,' I see no logical reason why it should continue to be prohibited.
13:12 on 05/04/2012
Here here. He's absolutely correct. And the church(s) may actually be able to save themselves by desisting in their blockage of marriage equality. They are going to lose the fight, and it would be in their own interest to be on the RIGHT side, for once. I made this point by re-writing Archbishop Nichols' pastoral letter to UK Catholics a couple of weeks ago. They should see it as an opportunity to make amends and derive strength and support from LGBT folks who wish to be Christian, right, and married. Alas, they're fools. http://theologosblog.blogspot.com/2012/03/what-archbishop-nichols-should-have.html
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05:30 on 05/04/2012
When my parents took me to a psychiatrist at catholic charities in St. Louis to be, "changed," we sat there while the therapist talked to me and my parents, and then me alone. Afterwards, he pulled my parents in and told them, "You son is gay. He has no problems with it, and truthfully seems to be handling it very well. You, on the other hand do not, and, I think you son is going to be just fine with it. If you would like to continue with yourselves and your issues concerning this, I will agree to this, but I don't think your son needs any further counseling on this." Well, my father grabbed my wrist violently, and jerked me out of my chair and angrily said, "We are out of here." It was one of the happiest days of my life.
05:44 on 06/04/2012
Is your father a Christian or non believer?
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07:29 on 06/04/2012
My father was a Nazi memorabilia collecting, Palin lovin' dean man. Care to align yourself with that?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Mark B Robertson
19:45 on 04/04/2012
Many religions do not care about gay people and would gladly erase us from the surface of this planet. Maybe this continuous hatred will remind people of why religion and its supporters are not good, they spend so much time getting riled up with toxic hatred, they forget about what they are supposed to be doing. Doing Good, they forget that.
05:41 on 06/04/2012
Ever noticed that it is secular people who have beaten up homosexuals and yet you say the church is against them. You are weird.
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Awake-and-Sing
named after a great play written by Clifford Odets
18:06 on 04/04/2012
Hear, hear!!!