Mr Pickwick
Sam Pickwick is a round-faced, portly gentleman wearing spectacles prone to making periodic utterances on business and family life in London. He squeezes into the roles in life which make him broadly acceptable, however in some cases, the tightness of fit creates unsightly bulges.

Ageing depresses him for there is still part of him that yearns to go crowd surfing, having relationships with unsuitable people and walking in the rain. He is a big chap though so crowd surfing is unlikely to be realistic. And he is blessed with having married a wonderful wife who he is still very much in love with so watches those around him having relationships with unsuitable people and thanks the big Banana for his good fortune. This leaves walking in the rain which he embraces. One out of three is not bad.

He adores his children and his dog, all of whom make him laugh (also, weep, beat his chest and throw sticks). They seem to do the same, normally when they want something.

He is happiest when he is with his family and when is is busy, either separately or together.

He welcomes any feedback on

Entries by Mr Pickwick

A New Approach to Surviving Holidays With the In-Laws

(0) Comments | Posted 27 July 2015 | (20:55)

"Father, if you were going to kill someone, how would you do it?" asked the younger Pickwick daughter during lunch some weeks ago.

Mrs Pickwick and I have always felt it important to support our children in the development of their ideas and self expression and to tolerate rebellion. This...

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Getting Older

(0) Comments | Posted 28 May 2015 | (10:19)

Like many people, Mrs Pickwick has an unfortunate tendency to complain about her age. Far from being a wizened old hag, she displays radiance and beauty in spades maintained by a routine finely engineered by careful experience and the contents of sweet smelling bottles assuring her she is worth it.

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Am I Beach Body Ready? The True Meaning of the Question

(0) Comments | Posted 8 May 2015 | (10:53)

I was forced to consider this question as it stood out before me on an advertising poster in big letters during one otherwise normal day. It was accompanied with a picture of a beautiful blonde-haired woman in a tiny yellow bikini. This was vainly attempting to contain breasts with the...

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The 2015 General Election Campaign - Doing It Doggy Style

(0) Comments | Posted 29 April 2015 | (20:51)

This is the first General Election campaign I have lived through where I am at a loss who to vote for.

The ability to vote is one of the most important rights assumed by the individual on reaching the age of majority. It is on the list of rights which...

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Sex-Inspired Spring Cleaning - I Am a Three Times a Day Man

(0) Comments | Posted 26 March 2015 | (19:42)

As the week came to a close, I identified a small voice inside me which grew louder and louder as I approached Saturday morning. On arriving at the allotted time, it became deafening.

Saturday morning - a moment of the week when normal people breathe a sigh of relief knowing...

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The Day Mrs Pickwick Invited Someone Else Into Our Bed

(0) Comments | Posted 24 February 2015 | (20:50)

It being Valentine's Day and the opening weekend at the local cinema for "50 Shades of Grey", Mrs Anastasia Pickwick and I came to the inevitable conclusion that we should invite someone else into our bed for the night. We had known Dudley for four years, after he had been...

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Oh My God, Who Am I Going to Vote For?

(0) Comments | Posted 2 February 2015 | (19:45)

With the General Election appearing on the horizon, the choice of which party to vote for has created the same dilemma as deciding upon how best you would like to be killed. The only difference being that if you are dead, you would not have to contemplate the outcomes of...

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An Antidote to Karl Pilkington - An Idiosyncratic Abroad

(0) Comments | Posted 21 December 2014 | (09:07)

With the emergence of a week when I was free to do as I pleased, Mrs Pickwick suggested I take a short holiday on my own as the other members of the family were occupied by the great hamster wheel of life. Aware that these opportunities come about rarely and...

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A Smart Car or a Sex Life - A Husband Decides

(1) Comments | Posted 23 October 2014 | (21:05)

It was an extreme reaction from Mrs Pickwick. You buy a Smart car and our sex life is over.

There were two possible scenarios to interpret this warning. The practical one - that should we consider such activity in a Smart Car, the absence of a back seat and the...

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Smalls Are Beautiful

(0) Comments | Posted 6 October 2014 | (20:40)

An unsettling scourge has landed on the Pickwick house. Normal service has been disrupted following the delivery of a M&S Menswear catalogue largely made up of undergarments modelled by the British model David Gandy. This has led to the Pickwick females moving from their normal state of kick-ass 21st Century...

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Shouldn't We All be a Little Bit Gay? Reflections on Amsterdam Gay Pride 2014

(0) Comments | Posted 7 August 2014 | (22:37)

Etched on my brain from last weekend is the memory of my wife reacting in astonishment at the sight of a boat sponsored by the Dutch National Railways floating past us as we watched the 2014 Amsterdam Gay Pride Boat Parade with the slogan "all you need is Faith, Trust...

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The First Skinny Dip of the Year

(0) Comments | Posted 22 July 2014 | (23:09)

I am always reluctant admitting I have a swimming pool. The decadence it suggests is outweighed by the fact that it costs an enormous sum to maintain which we can barely afford, can only operate with the application of such strong chemicals that I am sure it will catch fire...

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Feeling Stressed - Pour Barbeque Sauce on a Cocker Spaniel

(0) Comments | Posted 10 July 2014 | (22:24)

I am currently coming out the back end of a tempus horribilis. A drip, drip, drip of disasters whose weight has brought the dam down flooding the horizon with challenge to those around. The final drip occurred today leading me to attach myself to the family dog and be propelled...

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Guilt - The Day the Dog Had His Bits Removed

(0) Comments | Posted 29 March 2014 | (12:05)

Dudley, the Pickwick family dog has his crown jewels removed early this week.

The decision to do this was driven by advice from the local vet who said that there was a 20 per cent risk of testicular cancer if he retained them.

Mrs Pickwick and I were torn by...

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How to Survive Turning 50 - the President Francois Hollande Method

(0) Comments | Posted 4 February 2014 | (20:21)

There are but four short days before I pass from my forties to my fifties and I ponder with horror the wide abyss that has opened between "life begins at 40" and my half century.

This reaction was prompted when I contemplated my manly form pre-shower at the weekend which...

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Can I Have It All? If So, Do I Have Enough Cupboard Space?

(0) Comments | Posted 30 April 2013 | (13:44)

A fundamental question discussed in all forms of media is "Can I have it all?".

At the micro level, the answer can be best illustrated in the Pickwick household through the topic of cake. The Pickwick family are fans of cake, setting upon it like a pack of hyenas around...

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There is now only one Margaret in my life

(0) Comments | Posted 14 April 2013 | (21:57)

The departure of our blessed Lady Thatcher means there is now only one Margaret in my life - Mrs Pickwick.

Both have been powerful Margarets - but have always been at different ends of the spectrum.

Lady T, capable of existing on minimal sleep whilst firing on all cylinders. Mrs...

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Self-Improvement for Adults - What Zombie Survivalists Can Teach Us

(1) Comments | Posted 27 February 2013 | (21:32)

The problem about being an adult is that to maintain some form of balance in life and ensure that the old grey matter does not begin to atrophy, it is advisable to participate in some form of Self-Improvement. The power of the Internet and availability of free sources of Self-Improvement...

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An IPAD or a New Baby? A Father Reflects

(0) Comments | Posted 9 February 2013 | (17:24)

Over the last two decades, Mrs Pickwick has presented me with three bundles of joy. The first two were the birth of the Ms Pickwicks. But the third was different.

Appearing on my birthday, I was presented with the bundle with the Pickwicks standing excitedly around me surveying the new...

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Sputum Season - Cough, Splutter, Barf

(0) Comments | Posted 13 January 2013 | (17:47)

A large proportion of the Country's population have taken on a key feature of the Victorian age since the Christmas period. Illness.

The Pickwick Household has resembled a consumption ward over this time. Started by Pickwick daughter number 1, I assumed the mantle on Christmas Eve kidding myself that my...

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