Mr Pickwick
Sam Pickwick is a round-faced, portly gentleman wearing spectacles prone to making periodic utterances on business and family life in London. He squeezes into the roles in life which make him broadly acceptable, however in some cases, the tightness of fit creates unsightly bulges.

Ageing depresses him for there is still part of him that yearns to go crowd surfing, having relationships with unsuitable people and walking in the rain. He is a big chap though so crowd surfing is unlikely to be realistic. And he is blessed with having married a wonderful wife who he is still very much in love with so watches those around him having relationships with unsuitable people and thanks the big Banana for his good fortune. This leaves walking in the rain which he embraces. One out of three is not bad.

He adores his children and his dog, all of whom make him laugh (also, weep, beat his chest and throw sticks). They seem to do the same, normally when they want something.

He is happiest when he is with his family and when is is busy, either separately or together.

He welcomes any feedback on

Entries by Mr Pickwick

Sex-Inspired Spring Cleaning - I Am a Three Times a Day Man

(0) Comments | Posted 26 March 2015 | (19:42)

As the week came to a close, I identified a small voice inside me which grew louder and louder as I approached Saturday morning. On arriving at the allotted time, it became deafening.

Saturday morning - a moment of the week when normal people breathe a sigh of relief knowing...

Read Post

The Day Mrs Pickwick Invited Someone Else Into Our Bed

(0) Comments | Posted 24 February 2015 | (20:50)

It being Valentine's Day and the opening weekend at the local cinema for "50 Shades of Grey", Mrs Anastasia Pickwick and I came to the inevitable conclusion that we should invite someone else into our bed for the night. We had known Dudley for four years, after he had been...

Read Post

Oh My God, Who Am I Going to Vote For?

(0) Comments | Posted 2 February 2015 | (19:45)

With the General Election appearing on the horizon, the choice of which party to vote for has created the same dilemma as deciding upon how best you would like to be killed. The only difference being that if you are dead, you would not have to contemplate the outcomes of...

Read Post

An Antidote to Karl Pilkington - An Idiosyncratic Abroad

(0) Comments | Posted 21 December 2014 | (09:07)

With the emergence of a week when I was free to do as I pleased, Mrs Pickwick suggested I take a short holiday on my own as the other members of the family were occupied by the great hamster wheel of life. Aware that these opportunities come about rarely and...

Read Post

A Smart Car or a Sex Life - A Husband Decides

(1) Comments | Posted 23 October 2014 | (21:05)

It was an extreme reaction from Mrs Pickwick. You buy a Smart car and our sex life is over.

There were two possible scenarios to interpret this warning. The practical one - that should we consider such activity in a Smart Car, the absence of a back seat and the...

Read Post

Smalls Are Beautiful

(0) Comments | Posted 6 October 2014 | (20:40)

An unsettling scourge has landed on the Pickwick house. Normal service has been disrupted following the delivery of a M&S Menswear catalogue largely made up of undergarments modelled by the British model David Gandy. This has led to the Pickwick females moving from their normal state of kick-ass 21st Century...

Read Post

Shouldn't We All be a Little Bit Gay? Reflections on Amsterdam Gay Pride 2014

(0) Comments | Posted 7 August 2014 | (22:37)

Etched on my brain from last weekend is the memory of my wife reacting in astonishment at the sight of a boat sponsored by the Dutch National Railways floating past us as we watched the 2014 Amsterdam Gay Pride Boat Parade with the slogan "all you need is Faith, Trust...

Read Post

The First Skinny Dip of the Year

(0) Comments | Posted 22 July 2014 | (23:09)

I am always reluctant admitting I have a swimming pool. The decadence it suggests is outweighed by the fact that it costs an enormous sum to maintain which we can barely afford, can only operate with the application of such strong chemicals that I am sure it will catch fire...

Read Post

Feeling Stressed - Pour Barbeque Sauce on a Cocker Spaniel

(0) Comments | Posted 10 July 2014 | (22:24)

I am currently coming out the back end of a tempus horribilis. A drip, drip, drip of disasters whose weight has brought the dam down flooding the horizon with challenge to those around. The final drip occurred today leading me to attach myself to the family dog and be propelled...

Read Post

Guilt - The Day the Dog Had His Bits Removed

(0) Comments | Posted 29 March 2014 | (12:05)

Dudley, the Pickwick family dog has his crown jewels removed early this week.

The decision to do this was driven by advice from the local vet who said that there was a 20 per cent risk of testicular cancer if he retained them.

Mrs Pickwick and I were torn by...

Read Post

How to Survive Turning 50 - the President Francois Hollande Method

(0) Comments | Posted 4 February 2014 | (20:21)

There are but four short days before I pass from my forties to my fifties and I ponder with horror the wide abyss that has opened between "life begins at 40" and my half century.

This reaction was prompted when I contemplated my manly form pre-shower at the weekend which...

Read Post

Can I Have It All? If So, Do I Have Enough Cupboard Space?

(0) Comments | Posted 30 April 2013 | (13:44)

A fundamental question discussed in all forms of media is "Can I have it all?".

At the micro level, the answer can be best illustrated in the Pickwick household through the topic of cake. The Pickwick family are fans of cake, setting upon it like a pack of hyenas around...

Read Post

There is now only one Margaret in my life

(0) Comments | Posted 14 April 2013 | (21:57)

The departure of our blessed Lady Thatcher means there is now only one Margaret in my life - Mrs Pickwick.

Both have been powerful Margarets - but have always been at different ends of the spectrum.

Lady T, capable of existing on minimal sleep whilst firing on all cylinders. Mrs...

Read Post

Self-Improvement for Adults - What Zombie Survivalists Can Teach Us

(1) Comments | Posted 27 February 2013 | (21:32)

The problem about being an adult is that to maintain some form of balance in life and ensure that the old grey matter does not begin to atrophy, it is advisable to participate in some form of Self-Improvement. The power of the Internet and availability of free sources of Self-Improvement...

Read Post

An IPAD or a New Baby? A Father Reflects

(0) Comments | Posted 9 February 2013 | (17:24)

Over the last two decades, Mrs Pickwick has presented me with three bundles of joy. The first two were the birth of the Ms Pickwicks. But the third was different.

Appearing on my birthday, I was presented with the bundle with the Pickwicks standing excitedly around me surveying the new...

Read Post

Sputum Season - Cough, Splutter, Barf

(0) Comments | Posted 13 January 2013 | (17:47)

A large proportion of the Country's population have taken on a key feature of the Victorian age since the Christmas period. Illness.

The Pickwick Household has resembled a consumption ward over this time. Started by Pickwick daughter number 1, I assumed the mantle on Christmas Eve kidding myself that my...

Read Post

Techniques of Surviving Christmas (No. 47) - The Garbo Method

(0) Comments | Posted 22 December 2012 | (19:50)

I thought of Greta Garbo this week, the beautiful, brooding and reclusive Swedish starlet of yesteryear, as I stood waiting for my morning bus.

The bus queue was growing, or more accurately the scattering of people who position themselves at a respectable distance from each other designed to make social...

Read Post

Why George Osborne Is Wrong - the Case for Less Transparency

(0) Comments | Posted 5 December 2012 | (18:27)

I was reminded this week of the joke about the Bishop who is caught sunbathing nude and reacts by putting his towel over his head rather than over his private parts. On being challenged on why he has done this, he replies "people normally recognise me by my face".


Read Post

Strictly Done Dancing

(0) Comments | Posted 20 November 2012 | (22:02)

I had an epiphany at the weekend.

It was on a dance floor surrounded by loved ones and friends who scrubbed up for an evening do. As is customary, when the formal proceedings of the evening were over, guests hit the dance floor which was where my problems began.

Read Post

Skyfall - How to Break Wind on a Crowded Plane and Not Be Noticed

(0) Comments | Posted 31 October 2012 | (22:32)

I contemplated this dilemma on a crowded flight, as I sat sandwiched between two executives reading business journals of such unimaginable dryness that I longed to have the latest edition of "Closer" to balance them up. We were squished together on an evening flight so full of suits that it...

Read Post