THE BLOG

98.2%

10/02/2014 13:40 GMT | Updated 09/04/2014 10:59 BST

I was struggling on what to write about for this month's blog, so I asked my face book friends their advice for subjects. I instantly got back "write about the torture of the homosexuals in Russia" ... uh I write comedy - I added. "Write about if it's better to be a good looking person or a good person, it won't apply to me as I'm both" ... I didn't respond to that comment. How arrogant.

So, considering I can't turn torture into comedy, unless you are a psychopath, I can talk about another type of person. One in which many fellow comedians can relate too - narcissists.

I was relatively surprised to find, after an official NPD test (narcissistic personality disorder) I scored 98.2 %. I always knew there was something a little different in my reactions to things, but to be put in the same bracket as the ever so charming and important, ( there is a sense of irony here ) Paris Hilton, the shrinking violate ( sarcasm ) Naomi Campbell and one of my favourite people, ( I'm being serious now ) Russell Brand, is something I can't help but smile about. After all, growing up I wanted to be a supermodel, I currently do stand-up comedy, and I hope to become a rich lady of luxury doing bugger all with my time one day!

There are down sides to this disorder though, being terribly misunderstood. On the outside, we narcissists come across as extremely self-centered specimens wanting nothing but admiration. This IS true... BUT underneath, we do nothing from being callous or malicious. We simply have the loudest voices in the room therefore can be seen as bad people.

I was taking some selfie photos in the bath the other night, thinking how amazing I looked in the candle light.

I made my housemates laugh hysterically the other day, when I calmly looked at them and mentioned that I hadn't received a compliment from a stranger that day. I was genuinely telling them my concern, but they were rolling round in laughter. I can't help that random people come up to me in the street telling me they think utterly gorgeous. And after all, it's all in preparation for the future when I'm famous. It was at this point my housemates took me a little more seriously. I've drilled into their brains that they live with a future regular feature of OK magazine.

After all that's said and done, I have questioned if the NPD test was wrong. Maybe I just think I deserve the very best as I'm nowhere near my dream goals, so I'm just kidding myself into thinking I'm better than everyone else to get where I want to be. Then I'll be all modest and normal once I've got there? Naaaa. I'm fabulous.

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