Christmas in August!

10/11/2015 17:33 GMT | Updated 10/11/2016 10:12 GMT

44 days till Christmas. There, I said it.

When everyone said that Christmas comes earlier and earlier every year, this year took the biscuit. I saw Christmas cards in Tesco at the END. OF. AUGUST! It honestly feels like summer was only yesterday. I'm only JUST getting used to autumn uninvitingly turning up. Umbrellas out, slightly thicker socks on and my infamous fox onesie on at night. Fine. But I am NOT ready for seeing the fat faced Santa on cards, the cheap tinsel in Morrison's and the M and S adverts for turkeys and spruced up sprouts.

One sad B****d recently told me that they had already put up their tree on 1st of November. I smiled through gritted Grinch teeth. I have nothing more to say on that matter.

I don't understand the need to get everything done and dusted read for that one day so early on. It's ironic that all the people who are so excited by it all, ruins it by doing everything in September, then have nothing to do around the actual Christmas period.

The only thing that is getting me slightly excited is seeing the many bottles of Advocaat being stocked up in my local Sainsbury's. I struggle to find it any other time of the year. Advocaat that is, not excitement.

Then of course there is the annual "office Christmas party" that I never get invited to because I'm either temping somewhere ( temps aren't important enough to get an invite ) or I've just been fired. So everyone around me is going on about the which outfits to wear, the free bar, the expensive free food, while I have to sit in on my own at home watching EastEnders wondering who is photocopying their bum that night... oh bar humbug, I wouldn't want to go to some lame party with people I don't particularly like anyway.

While I see the people on Face Book counting down the days till the most boring day of the year, I'm counting down the days until the clock goes back to how it should be. 121 days to be precise.

So call me the Grinch if you enjoy being around people in the festive periods. Call me Victor Meldrew if you are one of those overly happy people who just LOVE Christmas. Call me a miserable old bitter Scrooge if are one of those people who are always so chirpy, you almost scare people. I'm OK not enjoying the most anti climatic day of the year (and that's saying something to the girl who once slept with a guy who had the tiniest Christmas stocking you can imagine).

So hurry up Santa, bring those presents to all the good girls and good boys out there, eat so many minced pies that you throw up all over Rudolf, then get the hell outta' here and bring on the Summer.

Lots of love,

Naomi xx