THE BLOG

May 1983

18/05/2015 14:12 BST | Updated 17/05/2016 10:59 BST

Edinburgh festival is creeping upon us. Which venue are you at? How many weeks are you there for? Have you done your flyers, your posters, your promotion, and your press release? Comedians are talking about this just as much as everyone has been talking about Ed Miliband's strange plasticine face.

I on the other hand had decided on Camden festival this year. A smaller fringe but no less exciting. I've heard some wonderful things about the Camden fringe comedy festival.

When I was accepted and given a fabulous venue at the Etcetera Theater I was unaware of one fundamental thing. I was told I had to price my own show!

This is a tricky thing for an unfamous narcissistic comedian. My first thought was £60.00 at £1 per minute. Bargain! Then I thought I wanted an actual audience, so I lowered the cost to £1.50. The seats are more likely to be filled that way. But then I thought I shouldn't sell myself short, considering people are happy to pay £1.50 for a double cheese burger at McDonald's.

I had to take into account that if I were a famous comedian, people would only have to just see my name and my show in the local newspaper and they would have their hands in their pockets pulling out the £20 note to see my show. Plus, my agent would probably be dealing with the price and promotion for me. Oh how I can dream that day will come.

So back to reality, pricing your own show is a strange and surreal thing. You think about all the work you have put in to make a good quality hour, but you have to balance the price just right or you can lose respect, your sanity and above all, audience members. (I would rather lose the small bit of sanity I have left than my potential audience members)

I then had a mini brain wave. A physiological, fabulous wonderful idea. Picking a price that had a talking point. A little extra touch that would stand out on the flyer. A completely random price! I thought £6.23. I thought £4.79. I thought £6.66. Then I thought of the perfect price. The best date in the world. My birthday. £5.83 (May 1983) Perfect for a narcissistic like myself and perfect for the audience. Less than 6 quid, more than a fiver. Lovely jubbly.

The tickets are out on June 1st on the Camden Fringe website and my show is called Chaos showing on 24th and 25th August. We do love a bit of self-promotion when we have the opportunity. And just in case you have been put off by my narcissism, I can assure you my show is an hour of splendor, filled with hilarious stories, poetry, music, madness and utter Chaos. Was that narcissistic of me? Maybe so, but you aren't going to forget the ticket price in a hurry!