THE BLOG

Why Wallow?

12/09/2013 13:21 BST | Updated 12/11/2013 10:12 GMT

"Hello, I'm Naomi Hefter, and I'm a wallower!" It appears there are more of us around than I thought!

Whether you are a comedian, a fashion designer or a teacher, SOME people can't help but have a good old wallow.

However, when I told my logical straight forward Social worker house mate about this secret "hobby" of mine, she couldn't help but laugh out loud. "So you just sit there, in your bed, play a sad song and cry away?" she asked me. Yes! Ok, so scrolling through my songs, trying to find REM's "Everybody hurts" can be a small hindrance. But once the music starts, the tears just flow and the painful thoughts in your head get more vivid by the tear.

But what IS wallowing I ask myself! Thinking about all the bad things that have happened to you in the past? Worrying about things that haven't even happened in the future? Or just feeling sorry for yourself because you are having a bit of an "off" day? Personally, I think it's a simple case of crying in your own narcissistic self-pity. That's why so many of us comedians do it. I've had many conversations with various comics who have confessed to having their moments of wallowing self-indulgence. Apparently, the more UN happy you are, the more likely you are to try and make others laugh. So it suddenly all makes sense!

I've even been asked how often I do it! (Wallow, that is) So I thought... Once a week? No, surely I don't spend once a week sitting in my bed - alone, crying to myself. I think my answer is no comment.

Last Thursday I was wallowing - but I WAS ill in bed, alone, with my latest dating experience going nowhere. I looked at myself in the mirror while I was doing it. (Wallowing, that is) This only made me wallow more. As I looked upon the puffed up, crinkled up face of a 30 year old single, struggling comedian wallowing in her own pathetic misery, I felt a sudden urge to scream F*** YOU to the world, get a tattoo across my chest saying "WHATEVER" and trying all the class A drugs I've always been too afraid to try. But then I quickly became wise and thought - it's actually very healthy to have a good wallow. It cleanses the soul, realises all the pain and sadness built up inside. It's kind of like an orgasm - built up emotions where you feel so much better after. So I carried on wallowing for the rest of the night! I woke up feeling refreshed, vitalized, and stronger than I had in a week!

I've just updated my C.V. Hobbies - Theatre, writing, badminton, socialising and wallowing

So for any logical people out there reading this who might think it's cringe worthy, time wasting and pathetic to wallow, give it a go! It may become your new favourite hobby!

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