This weekend, I went for an eye test at a well-known supermarket. It's something I've been avoiding for months. Partly due to cost, partly due to my struggle to do anything self-care related.
Anyway, this particular supermarket do eye tests for free, so I figured there was nothing to lose, so I finally booked an appointment and got myself down there.
As part of the eye test, they ask you what medications you're on. This question comes up occasionally... at the dentist, when applying for a driving licence, when visiting a walk-in GP or seeing a new health worker. Whenever the question comes up, it feels like time stops for ten seconds. I can practically hear my heart beating in my ears. I debate whether or not I should disclose the whole list of medications that I'm on.
Being 23 and on a list of medications is hard. When that list contains mental health medications, it can feel really hard.
I worry about people judging me or treating me differently. I worry about how they look at me - sometimes with curiosity, sometimes like I am an alien, sometimes with those overly sympathetic 'oh poor you' eyes. I don't quite know which look of these is worse. I don't particularly enjoy any of them.
Anyway, during the eye test, he asked me what medications I was on. To begin with I was very vague. I always start with the medications I think they won't have heard of, just to test the waters. So I did that, which resulted in the question 'what's that for?'. At that point, I realised I was going to have to go all-in, so I brought the list up on my phone (I can never remember them all), and gave him the full list of all my medications.
The optician was absolutely fantastic. He was kind. He didn't treat me any differently at all. He even disclosed a little about his own mental health experiences. He took my medication history into consideration and really listened to me.
I left the appointment and began to think about it. I was just so surprised by his reaction - or rather lack of reaction. I was pleasantly surprised. It's incredibly rare to meet anyone with no stigma, even in health settings (especially in health settings).
Then I began to think about it more, and actually, I shouldn't have been surprised. I shouldn't expect stigma. I shouldn't have to worry about listing my medications. Whoever is talking to me, is speaking to exactly the same person both before and after they know that I need a bit of help in order to function.
Mental health medications are there to give a helping hand to those of us whose brains aren't quite working as they should. I take asthma medications to help my lungs, I take mental health medications to help my brain. It's no different.
When we have a mental illness, life is hard enough. We already spend our life doing our best to do normal human things, whilst battling a brain determined to kill us. We really don't need additional problems on top of that. We really don't need people to treat us differently. To speak to us like we're stupid. To decide that we're not worth their time. To look at us like we have three heads.
Occasionally, we might need certain allowances from people - but we will normally tell you if that's the case! Until that point, just interact with us in the way that you would interact with anyone else.
We shouldn't be surprised by lack of stigma, it should be normal.