Like it or not, we're living in an era of global consolidation. The geopolitical map is shrinking at break-neck speed, cultural identities are beginning to shift and economic isolation is virtually non-existent. We're all citizens of one, tiny planet - and so even the most trivial acts of stupidity are bound to send shockwaves across the globe.
Cue Britain's tumultuous EU referendum.
Last week, a razor thin majority of English voters decided to embrace radicalism, hatred and xenophobia by choosing to cut ties with Brussels and the wider European community. Everybody told them it was financial suicide. Hell, nine out of ten economists warned it would plunge us all into recession.
But to disenfranchised English voters, GDP and security exchanges are simply arbitrary concepts held aloft by fairy dust. That's why so many individuals decided to throw caution to the wind and lather themselves up in Boris Johnson's gooey, nationalistic snake oil. The result of that momentary lapse in judgement? Complete and utter global chaos.
The Pound has plummeted to a 31-year low, British companies have shed £124 billion in value, company formations have come to a standstill and the country's credit ratings have all been downgraded. That sucks. But hey, at least we'll get rid of all those dirty, sponging foreigners, right?
Wrong. It's only been a few days, and half of the Brexit campaign's so-called promises have already been outed as complete and utter bullshit. Leavers have decided a Brexit probably won't slash migration levels, provide more money for healthcare or give Britain the economic sovereignty its people have been craving. That means Britain has essentially shot itself in the foot for no good reason.
Unfortunately, just about every other country on earth has been hit by that bullet, too.
The prospect of an impending Brexit has wiped at least $2 trillion off global markets. Currency exchanges have been shut down, big multinationals are preparing to get the hell out of Dodge and continental job losses will inevitably follow. Even BoJo is struggling to find a smile in the wake of this global financial catastrophe.
In fact, there's only one guy still laughing at the moment. And believe it or not, that great orange vulture is circling right on top of the White House.
According to Donald Trump, last week's Brexit vote was some sort of fantastic achievement worthy of a 12-foot trophy and a half-price taco bowl at the Trump Tower Grill. He's already begging fellow Americans to follow Britain's example and declare their own economic independence, and has been able to shrug off trillions in global losses under the presumption that he'll personally benefit from the financial chaos.
That's got to be some sort of red flag, right?
Okay, fine: there are plenty of Americans out there who aren't too sure about Hillary Clinton. There are also scores of far-right voters who are sick and tired of America's partisan political establishment. They want a breath of fresh air. But there's a pretty big difference between fresh air and toxic mustard gas.
America's economy has only just now gotten back on its feet. Consumer spending is up, debts are finally being managed properly and the country is on par for decent growth. Things are actually looking pretty good. So why on earth would you entrust that fledgling growth to a pig-headed sadist who has openly aligned himself with the next great global recession?
Trump is already scheming over how he can make a quick buck off of a venomous political movement that will inevitably spell disaster for the planet's largest single market. He doesn't care about European companies, people's welfare or the long-term economic future of American workers. Donald Trump cares about Donald Trump, full stop.
That's why this Brexit vote has got to be a wakeup call for any and all Republicans who are even remotely interested in their own wellbeing. It shouldn't matter how much you claim to despise Hillary Clinton, Democrats, women's rights or universal background checks. Donald Trump's continued demonstrations of economic selfishness and fiscal ineptitude prove beyond a reasonable doubt that he cannot be trusted with America's welfare.