Crikey - it's so easy to feel a failure isn't it - so easy to look at everyone else with their acts together (or so it appears)... in the gym, glowing faces, bouncing around all over the place - but really is that what's actually going on behind closed doors? Who really knows!?

Here we are again...! Another new year... another set of resolutions!

How on earth did it come around so quickly! I still haven't quite got stuck into the resolutions I made at the start of last year yet! Oops...

Crikey - it's so easy to feel a failure isn't it - so easy to look at everyone else with their acts together (or so it appears)... in the gym, glowing faces, bouncing around all over the place - but really is that what's actually going on behind closed doors? Who really knows!?

Comparing is never a good thing... Ok, it's good to have goals and aspirations but ideally they should be based on small steps forward for ourselves - independent from anyone else and definitely not forged on potentially artificial projected external images nor ludicrously high self-imposed expectations. Life becomes so much harder when we set ourselves such tough goals - often leading to a gloomy sense of failure or inability to achieve. So why not scrap the massive resolutions this year and go for some of the small steps I mentioned... I know thats what I'll be doing anyway!

It was back at the end of last year (just a few weeks ago actually), that I felt I was losing myself in the muddle of routines and the ongoing friends/family/household juggling act. I remembered all the little things I used to do back when i was single, living on my own in my own little flat, when I just had myself to worry about! Of course I'd never turn back the clock, never change what I have now for the world, my lovely husband and two little poppets running around my feet - no - but I can't deny that I do miss some of the 'me time' I used to have.

There and then, I decided for my own sanity, that I would pick up just a few of the things that I used to love doing, things that made me feel good and I would force myself to fit them in to my routine somehow - or should i say 'allow myself' to do them. So often we put ourselves at the bottom of our priority list and frankly I don't think it's always the right move. So I made a little list. 'New Year' resolutions for me always spell out 'pressure' and I'm not so good with that, I don't perform well when the pressure's on, as can be seen by how far I've got with last years' resolutions (still barely scribbles in a diary!) so these would just be positive steps... starting from right there and then when I wrote them.

  • one thing was taking a few minutes for myself in silence to lie on my bed and switch off each day
  • another was to have an epsom salts bath or a fancy fragrant one once in a while (without allowing a whole year to pass)
  • another was to write down things that I'm grateful for, read over and appreciate them to put things into perspective
  • another was to put myself first more

So these were my thoughts, my plans .. small and manageable. Less expectations equal less disappointments.

So if you're one of those people that's great with a long list of hard core resolutions and thrives on the pressure of fulfilling them - Great! Go for it I say!... whatever works... and I salute you wholeheartedly! But... if like me, that stuff's way too daunting and is a potential road to emotional lows, why not try some of the smaller, more digestible ideas... you never know, they may actually provide you with the tools to eventually manage the bigger tasks - just one step at a time!

And remember: let's always try to acknowledge our achievements as opposed to focusing on our shortcomings... you'll probably find they are far greater than you imagined!

Happy 2017 everyone! Enjoy it! and please... go easy on yourselves!

...and ps: no - I'm not doing dry January.

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