THE BLOG

The Frustration of a Broken Phone: An Open Letter

09/05/2014 12:38 BST | Updated 09/07/2014 10:59 BST

Dear iPhone,

You never warned me but there were warning signs of course. Of course there were warning signs, there are always warning signs in hindsight - the intermittent reception, the freezing every so often - but I never heeded these warnings, I made excuses for these warnings and even blamed others: ''It must've been Eva'' or ''Bloody Orange!'', I'd exclaim. I felt secure in your reliability and availability. I thought we were solid.

We were together through 2 and a 1/2 years of thick and thin. You shared some of the most significant moments of my life, taught me things, organised me, reminded me of things I'd otherwise have forgotten, woke me up at the right time and harboured more secrets for me than I'd care to recall - I told you everything.

Even when others would bemoan their iPhones, I'd stick up for you; yes I'd complain but who doesn't? On the whole I was happy. I have to accept that there were times I was noncahlant over the years; took you for granted. You were dropped many times and left battered & bruised and for that I apologise, but you know that I cursed myself every, single time.

I was good to you too - I paid you excessive amounts of attention, took you everywhere with me, rarely let your battery die and bought you pretty covers.

Yes we were coming to the end, the end is always inevitable on a 24 month contract, but if you could have just held out a little bit longer then we could have parted on a high - hell we could have even been friends. But you must have sensed it, you must have known I was due for an upgrade and couldn't bear to see me happy with anyone else.

At first I thought it was me, that you were no longer turned on by my touch but I soon realised after an Apple recommended hard reset that your touch screen function had just stopped working.

I didn't give up on us though, I tried a software update but it was too late, you completely withdrew and without warning you left me; you and that devious friend of yours, iTunes, single handedly left me with nothing: no photos, no messages, no contacts - nothing. Just pensively wondering whether I will ever be able to trust another phone so freely again.

I had my head in the iCloud and believed we'd always have Paris but the pictures from Paris have gone too. In fact ironically the only thing iCloud has left of our time together are reminders and I don't mean reminders as in memories, I literally mean the Reminders app.

I always thought it would be me that would lose you, that I'd leave you somewhere or that Eva would break you. Ha, to think that I spent 2 years trying to protect you from her - all for nothing.

But you're an iPhone; a rolling stone. You go your own way and make your own rules, you can't be tamed. You are technology and I am bereft without you.