Over the past nine months of appointments, I hadn't seen the same midwife once. Pushed into the position of pregnancy slut - hopes for an actual relationship scuppered early on. It was never anything more than a one 'meet' stand.
Previous marvelling at the human female form has now turned to gasps of bewilderment. I was seeing bits of my body I had never seen before and losing sight of other bits; my nipples were darkening, the bump beginning to feel heavy and the belly button on the turn - inside out.
A couple of weeks back the Glam Rocker left Blighty to embark on a tour of the US and I was joining him for a weekend of Sex in the City. I was Carrie as a brunette with a bulging belly as opposed to a bulging Mulberry.
Eleven weeks accidentally pregnant and having broken the news to my son I decided it was time to tell my family. A most apt and suitable occasion presented itself on the 69th birthday of my mother, this would be one surprise she would not forget!
I thought long and hard about how to tell my twelve year old son about my current situation. I timed it specifically. Earlier in the day, his Dad, aka Le Dazzler, had driven us en famille down to Sussex where BoyWonder sat his 13 plus exams for boarding school.