It's July 2009 and I'm in Sangin, Helmand province. British 'hard power', in the form of its military and governmental effort to subdue the Taleban, i...
Mel and Sue were drowning in French jokes. Plus there was that awkward moment when Mel and Sue joke about leaving the show and having enough... when in the future they will be leaving the show and will have had enough...
For non-Christians - the majority of Brits - the Bible isn't uniquely moral, uniquely important, or uniquely beautiful. Christian hegemony is out of date. Cast away on a desert island, people should be offered the book of their choice and we now have a whole wide world of inspiration to choose from.
There is no such thing as finding happiness. Happiness is created through doing something you are innately very good at and therefore you love doing it. I have learnt that by allowing both the time and headspace to let your natural talent breathe, doors will open and the opportunities that may follow are endless. Trust me. Try it.
2016 has been a dark year for music. We've lost David Bowie, Frank Sinatra's son, Frank, and the artist formerly known as alive, Prince. But God doesn't murder a rockstar without opening a window, and this summer I stepped into the musical void for BBC Get Playing.
So the first question we all had, was what the week actually is. Botanical means that the bakes have to contain something that grows. So... most bakes. Or, they can be something with floral decorations. So... any bake. Woah. Really putting the pressure on this high caliber of bakers. You'd think hash brownies or a magic mushroom loaf would make an appearance - but not a sniff.
"They'll probably have to drag me away from the microphone when they decide to elbow me. I shall cling to it. There'll be a lot of tears and screaming...
Everyone is exhausted and anxious and the rescue crews work tirelessly to keep them all calm so they don't capsize the boat. After several hours everyone is brought safely on board the rescue ship. Later they're all transferred to the Italian coast guard who will take them to Italy. The Aquarius stays in the rescue zone to search for more dinghies. And so we wait.
In a post-Duchamp world where anything goes, sh*tting in a box, scrunching up some paper, crawling on glass, or putting a shark in some jelly all seems a bit pointless and boring. If you want to create an artwork that's really shocking today, pick up a paintbrush.
On the day UKIP finally chose its new leader to replace Nigel Farage, an unprecedented thunderstorm hit Britain. Not the thunderstorm that dumped almost half a month's rain in the east, south and south-east of England within hours.
I am so excited about my new job co-hosting Afternoon Edition alongside Sarah Brett on BBC Radio 5 live and so happy that the Controller of 5 live Jonathan Wall has given me an opportunity of a lifetime. This is mainstream broadcasting. The guests are household names, the issues go beyond the Asian community while being relevant to them too. The chance to have the conversations I used to have but on a bigger platform, and many new debates as well.
I am very much in favour of transparency. If all broadcasters had to declare how much they are paying their biggest stars, I would have no complaints... But I should be clear about why I am in favour of transparency: it enables those who are paid less than their peers to demand an increase. It means wage bills go up, not down. As an ex-employee, I am a strong believer in equal pay for equal work - but I suspect that is not quite what the culture secretary Karen Bradley, who in her former life was a tax consultant, had in mind.
What of Love Productions' apparent greed? Well, an independent business, with salaries to pay, overheads to cover, other creative ideas to support, can surely be forgiven for wanting to make hay while the sun shines. And it could easily have gone the other way for them. What if, after six hardworking years, the BBC had said, "Thanks, but no thanks to any more".
London artist Doug Pledger has found an unusual muse in Phil Mitchell, and his memes dedicated to the EastEnders hard man often go viral in social media, collected at www.utterphilth.com which went live earlier this year.
As from midnight tonight, our relationship is over. I knew it couldn't carry on forever. Something had to give, and it was never going to be me. And so I thank you for the memories. The good times and the shitty ones ... like when you forced me to watch tennis or football for f##king ever.
Not wanting a repeat (strange that, they normally love a repeat ) of Alex Mitchell, who in 1975 supposedly shuffled off to heaven while howling hysterically at the 'Kung Fu Kapers' episode of the Goodies, they (the BBC) therefore decided that for the sake of the nation's health, they'd make the current Sitcom Season as unfunny as possible.