#Bereavement

Why We Need to Reconsider How We Engage With Bereaved People

Leigh Kendall | Posted 05.07.2015 | UK Lifestyle
Leigh Kendall

Losing someone you love is difficult enough, living without someone you love is heartbreaking enough, living day by day is exhausting enough without the added frustrations and torments contributed by those who exclude and patronise those living with grief. The patronising comments and exclusion are usually unintended, I know. That knowledge does not make the sting any less, though.

Sex, Love and Death... Only One of Which Is a Certainty in Life

Alison Powell | Posted 01.07.2015 | UK Lifestyle
Alison Powell

When someone dies we are often shocked. Even if that person is ill and therefore their passing is expected to be imminent, I am still yet to lose a loved one to an illness and not be a bit surprised. I am taken aback, maybe slightly affronted.

In the End, There Is Only Room for Love

Poorna Bell | Posted 26.06.2015 | UK Lifestyle
Poorna Bell

There is a lot I have discovered since you took your own life. Firstly, while there is no hierarchy of death where one is better than the other, it's safe to say that living a long life is at the top while a short one is at the bottom. I don't know where suicide sits, but it's safe to say, it makes other people REALLY uncomfortable. I was advised against telling people how you died. And in the initial bizarreness of picking your burial plot and coffin (and being asked whether Robert was an eco-friendly man), I erred on the side of caution. But by this 30th day, I have realised when the worst, most devastating thing possible happens, you lose the energy to maintain any artifice.

Be Kind to Yourself

Libby Martin | Posted 03.06.2015 | UK Parents
Libby Martin

We are very lucky to be surrounded by such a large network of wonderful people who support us fabulously - unfortunately not everyone is so lucky - but, even so, it is a very lonely time. People offer support, condolence, hugs.

I Had to Walk the Great Wall of China Before I Could Face My Mother's Death

Linzi Marks | Posted 21.05.2015 | UK Lifestyle
Linzi Marks

Looking back I realised that if I hadn't joined the challenge and stood there at that point in time, I might never have addressed all of the built-up pain and emotion that was eating away inside me. It gave me the safe space I needed to open up and really start healing.

Why I Changed My Mind About 'Attention Seeking' RIP Facebook Statuses

Rachel Moss | Posted 29.05.2015 | UK Lifestyle
Rachel Moss

Dying Matters Awareness Week aims to get people talking about death and bereavement because, unfortunately, death is a part of life. In my experience, talking about death really does make bereavement easier - that includes posting statuses about loved-ones you've lost on Facebook.

Talking About Bereavement

David Ramsden | Posted 20.05.2015 | UK
David Ramsden

The loss of a parent, sister or brother is a devastating event in any child's life. The impact of bereavement can have consequences that last a lifetime, which is why it is vital that the young people affected get the right support at the right time.

Change or Die

Carrie Armstrong | Posted 18.05.2015 | UK Lifestyle
Carrie Armstrong

I don't remember whether this tattoo was Hebrew or Chinese. And I wouldn't be able to recall it again if l saw it now. I asked him what I meant. He replied. "Change or die". To this day it's the single most accurate sentence I've ever heard regarding recovery. Any type of recovery.

You Only Die Once - Why Dying Matters

Joe Levenson | Posted 18.05.2015 | UK
Joe Levenson

Whether it's through writing a will, making financial plans, planning for our future care and support including through making a Lasting Power of Attorney, or deciding whether we want to join the organ donor, all of us can increase the likelihood of getting our wishes met and reduce the chances of life after our death becoming even more difficult for the people we care about.

Why Society Needs a Tribute Collective

Rachael Chadwick | Posted 28.06.2015 | UK Lifestyle
Rachael Chadwick

When my mum died of bowel cancer just over three years ago it was quite the shock to say the least. I tried to keep going - to battle on - but it wasn't long before I grew tired of society silencing me.

Orphaned At 29

Lara Ruffle Coles | Posted 24.06.2015 | UK Lifestyle
Lara Ruffle Coles

I'm so glad for technology, for the ability to store memories and experiences and to show in near-human form a person that shaped my life so dramatically. I'm so grateful my Dad borrowed a video camera in 1986 to film us all, to film so many people - including my Mum - who are now gone.

The Death of Embarrassment Over Pet Bereavement

Marie Carter | Posted 24.06.2015 | UK
Marie Carter

There is little doubt that losing a beloved pet can leave a massive hole in a family's life. Unlike the death of a human family member, which understandably attracts a huge outflow of sympathy, love and care in both actions and words, the death of a pet can be bewildering for other reasons.

Solitary, Poor, Nasty, Brutish and Short

Clare Allington | Posted 23.06.2015 | UK Lifestyle
Clare Allington

Funny thing about grief is it hits you in waves; some days you can be tootling along quite happily then a smell, or a memory hits you, and yes this is quite embarrassing in public when you burst into tears.

Two Years

Mark Oborn | Posted 17.06.2015 | UK Lifestyle
Mark Oborn

Both our past and our future are constructions in our own mind. They are not reality, they either haven't happened yet or they are flawed re-creations of what has been. We worry when there is resistance and comparison between the past or the future and the NOW.

Creating Precious Memories: The Importance of Baby Bereavement Photography

Leigh Kendall | Posted 09.06.2015 | UK Parents
Leigh Kendall

Our photos show Hugo's personality - lying back with his legs dangling over his nest, throwing his arms around, playing with the wires, or comfily lying in his favourite position on his tummy. Our videos show him boogying to my singing, and opening his eyes to peek out on the world.

#12

Noelle Reno | Posted 07.06.2015 | UK Lifestyle
Noelle Reno

Over the year I had traveled thousands of miles to discover new places and things only to truly discover myself. The incredible evolution I underwent has shaped me in to an almost recognizably conscious, empathetic, joyful person from where I started. The greatest journey any human take is that 13 inches from your head to heart.

The Power of One: A Tribute to Kim Pearson

Georgie Bradley | Posted 14.05.2015 | UK Lifestyle
Georgie Bradley

Kim Pearson was from South Africa and my teacher in Bahrain from 2002-6. It swells my heart with pain to say he has left us. A multidisciplinary teacher, he taught across the board, but Geography and Religious Education in the main.

Grief at 50,000 Feet: When Your Dad Dies and You're On Honeymoon

Laura Zito | Posted 02.05.2015 | UK Lifestyle
Laura Zito

"Dad had an accident." At this point, I prayed so hard her next words weren't what I feared they would be. "Dad's died." I screamed, making a noise that had never come out of my body before. David was sitting on the bed. I ran through the balcony doors and told him dad was dead.

A Cup of Tea and a Text Message

Julie Elizabeth | Posted 19.04.2015 | UK Lifestyle
Julie Elizabeth

Walking into a heavy silent house lit by golden waving glass shadows, one full cup of tea sat on the kitchen counter. It was the cup of tea he never finished when we rushed into hospital two days before. Stale, cold and miserable it had spent 48 hours unaware of its fate.

A Letter

Julie Elizabeth | Posted 08.04.2015 | UK Lifestyle
Julie Elizabeth

From the moment I was handed your death certificate, I have had to reluctantly crawl and claw my way back to what non spouse bereaved members of society would call 'normal' whilst crippled by nerves and anxiety, my physical and mental health continually hanging by a thread during a drunken haze of euphoric reflection.

Tell Them

Benjamin Brooks-Dutton | Posted 03.04.2015 | UK Lifestyle
Benjamin Brooks-Dutton

Tell them that at thirty-one years old I was the happiest man alive when I married the love of my life. Tell them that I was utterly bereft when I lost her at thirty-three. Tell them I've thirty-five now and depressed. Tell them that I put a good face on but that the truth is that things haven't really got much easier. Tell them from me how hard it is to be a bereaved single parent.

Wild Women

Lisa Edwards | Posted 22.03.2015 | UK Lifestyle
Lisa Edwards

It is always the plan. I know my mother wanted more for me than she had had herself, professionally, romantically, economically and everything-ally. And I have spent my life trying to make that happen, especially since she died sixteen years ago.

Why The Differences Between Empathy and Sympathy Matter

Leigh Kendall | Posted 22.03.2015 | UK Lifestyle
Leigh Kendall

Grief is entirely individual, and the grieving person has to respond to their grief in a way that is relevant to them. How they respond may change over time. The difficulty with the platitudes detailed above is that they infer a judgement about how the person is grieving, the time they are taking over their grief, or how they are feeling.

Milestones and Tributes; Missing Loved Ones This Christmas

Rachael Chadwick | Posted 09.02.2015 | UK Lifestyle
Rachael Chadwick

When you lose someone, you often find yourself in a cliché firing line as, 'It was their time to go', 'Time is a healer' and 'Everything will be okay' are shot at you. Of course, people are trying to help as best they can (which is appreciated immensely), but it is so difficult to digest anything positive when things are painfully raw and you are suffocating in grief.

Being There for People Who Have Been Bereaved

Joe Levenson | Posted 09.02.2015 | UK
Joe Levenson

One hundred years after the outbreak of the First World War, which contributed to a major shift in cultural attitudes and practices relating to death and mourning, with discussing dying increasingly becoming a taboo, many British people remain deeply uneasy talking about bereavement.