It feels like we're expected to be crying into a pillow, stinking of Chardonnay, cat pee and desperation. (for the record I prefer Gin & smell expensive, darling). The biggest thing I've learned is that being single aged 36 is actually rather exciting, unpredictable and utterly refreshing! The sense of freedom is incredible.
"Hey honey," I said, hands on my hips and a look of incredulity plastered across my face. "Do you know what I've always dreamed of? Putting these hands in a bucket full of maggots, staring into the water for 10 hours straight and a flapping fish slapping my face! I mean, do you know what a manicure costs these days?"
The Jesuits say 'Give me the boy at seven and I will give you the man'. Chris Huhne wasn't seven when I first met him, he was 11. It was 1965, I was nine and my family had just moved to London. Like all boys, Chris was an annoying squirt. I was an instant devotee. Not only was he fantastic but he was also the only proper boy I knew.
This week, I kissed a guy underneath the semi-parasitic evergreen. He seemed to deserve it, so I stood on tiptoe and even lifted my left leg - although I felt more like a cocker spaniel than Katherine Hepburn. Then I panicked and pulled away. I have an allergy both to the plant and to men... or at least, men at Christmas...