Parents have to find a way to discuss these and other parentings issues and protect their children from acrimony and avoidable hurt and loss. Mediation creates a safe and neutral place for these conversations to take place. Furthermore, the mediator is highly trained and experienced in facilitating their much needed conversations and can help with formulating new boundaries and ways of communicating and planning that work.
If you are thinking about a divorce, your head will be full of worries about the future. Will you be able to afford two households? Who gets what? And how on earth do you "share the children"? The last thing you want is uncertainty about the divorce procedure. Do you instruct a solicitor or do you come to a mediator? Here is a brief overview of the best possible use of both since the two approaches complement each other.
I honestly don't think people are intending to mess up their children when going through divorce and certainly if you are reading this then I applaud you for wanting to make the best out of a bad situation for your kids. However, 9 times out of 10, people mess up and the children are the ones who get the brunt of it. Here are some basic No-No's to avoid.
On the grieving cycle following death, loss or divorce, after the first shock and denial, people become angry and blaming, they may get depressed as they gradually detach from the other person and old life. Only then are they ready to move to dialogue and bargaining to sort everything out. Finally they will reach acceptance of the new life and be able to move on.
Madonna will miss her son but she can remain his mother if she understands that what is going on is not personal and not permanent, but part of his journey to adulthood. A state of being which lasts far longer than childhood and in which her role as his mother will form a place in his heart and mind forever.
9th April 2012 was the day my parents decided to separate. The date of their separation will always stay with me as my life rapidly changed after. Decisions such as 'What shall we have for dinner tonight?' suddenly changed to decisions concerning whether me and my sisters will still be able to live together...
Shared parenting means giving both parents (and sometimes more than two parents, for example in three parent families) the opportunity to have an equal role in their child's life. Very importantly, that does not mean shared residence in the 50/50 sense, which tends to afford both parents generous overnight contact with their child.