Ding Dong Merrily On- bollocks I've got Gordon for secret Santa?? Really? Gordon?! Gordon smells of damp tea towels and has a weird nasal hair flutter when he exhales. I'm sure he was talking about his athlete's foot to the maintenance manager in the car park yesterday. A tube of Canesten it is then.
I am fully aware that the title of this article is likely to incite rage across the nation. How can I possibly be mentioning Christmas when we are barely in November? What kind of fairy light loving, sugared almond addict must I be to bring up my second least favourite C-word so early on in the year? I mean, the clocks have only just gone back for Pete's sake!