Some very persuasive religious group hustlers banged on my door, aggressively, and were even more fierce with their finger and tongue wagging telling me, 'Jesus is coming'. Now, I have no qualms about anyone's beliefs and I give anyone their right to their beliefs but I don't go knocking on their doors telling them, 'No he f***ing isn't."
According to the experts, when you have children regular date nights with your partner are the key to a successful relationship. Forget communication, mutual love and respect or not marrying a dick; apparently the secret to a happy and healthy relationship is to go on a date. At flipping night. But according to me (expert on nothing) this is rubbish. Here is why...
I'm on a date with an ex! When we broke up, I dated LITERALLY well over a hundred guys. (In the space of five years) Some for a few months, others for one glass of awkwardness... but none of them quite lived up to the infamous ex. Going back out with an ex is like trying outfits on a Friday night out with the gals. You always end up wearing the first outfit you tried on!
I do it because I think every single human being is capable of wonderful things, and I don't think anyone is stupid. I just think that a lot of us, myself included, don't know enough and if we were more thoughtful, looked deeper into issues and knew more, we could as a society be making better decisions and live in a far better world.
In the following short film (or 'film short' for those of you), my comedic partner Andy King and I (almost named after a popular musical) present a warm tribute to this time of times. Pray silence then for 'King Dredge,' as we are called, and let us take you back to the olden days of yore. Possibly before yore, I'm not shore.