There are so many reasons to be afraid of intimacy and love we can hardly begin to enumerate them. John Paul-Sartre opined that lovers want to possess the desire of the other to quell their fear of rejection and abandonment. In that way he believes that all love relationships are doomed to battles for independence and ever present dependency.
Often people are aware of their addictive behaviour and would like to stop or slow down. However, the illusion of the addiction can be so powerful that the fear of not being able to cope without it is overwhelming and can suffocate even the smallest attempt to take control of the situation and muster the confidence to change.