You are stuck in a busy, noisy, unfamiliar building. You are unsure of where you are or even what time of year it is. All the corridors look the same. You find it hard to judge how far away the floor is. You can't remember where the toilets are. You can't remember why you're here. You feel a rising sense of panic as you search for clues to where you are, and even who you are.
There has been a lot written about happiness in the workplace recently - what it does for efficiencies, productivity, staff retention and loyalty. So I am not being entirely altruistic. I think if I succeed in creating a happy company I will probably deliver against the 'harder' objectives I get set every year far more easily.
If you are lucky you will get plenty of advice as you forge ahead with your career...and of course there is always the internet to turn to now for comment and thought. But as I think about some of the things people have taught me over the years I often wish that I had learned them earlier - I wish someone had sat me down and just shared a few key pointers right at the beginning.
Since the arse-liberating trend began in the 90s, we have become incredibly open-minded about revealing our bottoms, yet extremely prejudiced about how they should look like - size, tan, firmness, roundness... Everybody seems to have a vision of how a perfect bottom should look like - nobody is indifferent.