Parents have to find a way to discuss these and other parentings issues and protect their children from acrimony and avoidable hurt and loss. Mediation creates a safe and neutral place for these conversations to take place. Furthermore, the mediator is highly trained and experienced in facilitating their much needed conversations and can help with formulating new boundaries and ways of communicating and planning that work.
On the grieving cycle following death, loss or divorce, after the first shock and denial, people become angry and blaming, they may get depressed as they gradually detach from the other person and old life. Only then are they ready to move to dialogue and bargaining to sort everything out. Finally they will reach acceptance of the new life and be able to move on.
9th April 2012 was the day my parents decided to separate. The date of their separation will always stay with me as my life rapidly changed after. Decisions such as 'What shall we have for dinner tonight?' suddenly changed to decisions concerning whether me and my sisters will still be able to live together...
Families with kids will have their term time routine thrown into chaos as the children are off school for 6-8 weeks at a time. Partners often have different expectations of holiday time. I often hear that mum's need a break from the children and Dad's need a break from work. So arguments arise when nobody wants to do the mundane housework or entertain the kids all day long.
There are all warning signs that you need to STOP and FOCUS on your marriage. It will not fix itself. You need to take time out if you want to avoid things getting worse. If you leave them too long then you will head towards what I call the "switch flicking moment". This is the point of no return when something just changes and you no longer feel that attraction to your partner.