There are all warning signs that you need to STOP and FOCUS on your marriage. It will not fix itself. You need to take time out if you want to avoid things getting worse. If you leave them too long then you will head towards what I call the "switch flicking moment". This is the point of no return when something just changes and you no longer feel that attraction to your partner.
They need to understand that the legal processes can turn initially reasonable demands into a whole new set of game playing on an expensive scale, and as for who wins and who loses, I recommend a coin is taken into the court room and tossed, as that is about as accurate a way of guessing outcomes as any.