After watching the pilot I had to accept that, what makes this show so unique, so funny, are its stars, the interns. Yes, we actors busted our balls (and our nerves and possibly our sanity) to stay in character for so long and deal with whatever came our way. But the comedy gold was in the interns' faces.
You're single. You're female. You've had bad experiences with men in the past. You want to find a quick fix before your friends start tilting their heads on yours shoulders when you complain about it and say "awww", and you hear that there's this new TV show that is offering you the chance to win £25,000 and the opportunity to choose any one of eleven attractive single guys to fall in love with!
Judging by its opening gambit, Scousewives clings safely to the template laid down by its southern cousins in Essex and Chelsea, opening with a conformist series of oddly stunted conversational scenes resembling the awkward preliminary stages of a porn film, and concluding with some party or function to usher in the histrionics.
Fox should have iced The Simpsons about a decade ago, as it was around that time that it started haemorrhaging the funny at alarming speed. As it currently stands, watching The Simpsons is like seeing the one-time best footballer in the world playing Saturday league and getting paid in bottles of Lucozade.
I have left acting to others. Others with talent. I now have a number of friends who are very accomplished actors, and make a good living out of their craft. I've never really considered straying onto their patch. So it was a surprise (and not a good, people-jumping-out-with-party-poppers-it's-your-birthday-type surprise) when I found myself acting in a sitcom pilot.