Suddenly they all woke up and started shouting at each other about the NHS. "You're lying!" yelled Nigel to Ed. "Be quiet all of you!" yelped Dimbers. "Natalie?" "Yes, I think it was probably my turn," she replied, primly.
On Tuesday we launched the Green Party of England and Wales 2015 general election manifesto: 'For the Common Good'. It is shaped by our vision of a future Britain, and our principles and values which say that no one in this, the world's sixth richest economy, should fear not being able to put food on table, or pay the bills that keep a roof over their head. It is shaped by a politics founded in humanity. We want to create a Britain that cares. But it is also based on a fundamental principle that the other parties deny and ignore: the need for us to build a stable and sustainable society that protects our planet now and for future generations.
We've hit the part of the General Election campaign that really starts to get on my nerves. The funny thing is, I genuinely think this vote could be one of the most interesting in the UK's history, given how disillusionment with large swathes of the political spectrum has resulted in no one party looking capable of gaining an overall majority...
The future is a funny old thing. That word has been thrown around so often during the tiresome back and forth of this campaign that it's lost all meaning, blending into the dull humming noise that the election has become.
If Ed Miliband, Nick Clegg and David Cameron really don't want all their green-minded supporters to flock to the Greens, they must do more to convince voters that on these issues they actually offer a pro-environment alternative to the Greens.
With decisions over welfare, Trident, Barnett Formula, most fiscal power and a future EU referendum still in London - Scots look likely to vote for the option most of them would have preferred last year - Devo Max.
The big risk the Labour leader took last week was the Blair risk, inviting the former PM to take to the podium on his behalf to dispense another well-polished, perfectly pitched and impassioned monologue to the masses.
Who would have thought it. It seems we had Ed Miliband all wrong. For years we were led to believe he was just that nerdy bloke with the strange voice who looks like the plasticine man from the Wrong Trousers. However it now appears the Labour Leader has clearly being wearing the right trousers in terms of attracting beautiful and successful women.
Putin may be hoping that Miliband remains out of Number 10 to ensure the EU isn't strengthened by a renewed and active partner in the United Kingdom under a Labour government.
I suspect what my friend would most like is to be able to vote Lib Dem again and see a post-election coalition made up of Labour and Lib Dem MPs, maybe with external SNP support. But she knows that for that to happen, there will have to be more Labour MPs, and there won't be unless enough people vote Labour.
Over the last century, there have been periods during which one set of commonly accepted values in British politics is replaced by another. This occur...
The difference between Poldark and the real economy is that Mr Miliband could conjure a wage rate out of thin air. In September last year Labour answered worker's calls when they announced a large uprate in the national minimum wage to £8 should they get into power.
Both Cameron and Miliband have taken to the stage and stated that Britain needs firmer border controls, harsher work restrictions and the implementation of a time-period where immigrants have to be totally financially independent.
The inevitable question that will arise in the right wing press will, however, be about whether this will result in three things. The first is an exodus of wealthy non-doms. The second is a collapse in London house prices as a result. And the third is a collapse in tax revenues. Let me deal with these issues...
Like some perverse retelling of Dickens' A Christmas Carol, it might appear that Ed Miliband is being haunted by ghosts of prime ministers past, and one of them in particular. Off campaigning in Bristol, or so we are told, the Labour leader drafted in his former boss to add some vim to proceedings in Sedgefield.
Since the sacked probation officers may not see things in these terms, it is worth examining the connection between productivity and these supposed benefits. Society certainly gets richer when it can produce more, but which members of society get their hands on those riches depends upon how it is distributed.